YOU CAN'T RUN UPHILL INDOORS

I’ve read so many articles recently on the sad state of our children’s outdoor lives – what some call Nature Deficit Disorder -- that I've been wanting to put my two cents in as well. So here goes...

Most of the articles rightly make the argument that children need fresh air and sunshine for their good health, and an appreciation of nature for their well-rounded well-being. Parents know this intellectually. Kids know this intuitively. Researchers will back them both up. And I whole-heartedly agree with all of them. But beyond health and well-being, I think there are even more reasons why kids need to get outside and get to know nature personally...

KIDS NEED TO MOVE... A LOT

Kids need to move their bodies everyday in lots of ways and with as much freedom of choice as is safe and practical to allow in order to develop both their bodies and their brains. To that end...

MORE movement is possible outdoors than in. Just is.

See if this sounds familiar. Don’t run in the house... don’t make a mess in the house... don’t roughhouse in the house... all reasonable restrictions parents have always placed on their children’s indoor play. After all, parents live here too. Years ago, the solution was simple. Shoo the kids outside. But that’s not the case any more.

Today, parents seem afraid to let children go outdoors. Whether it's stranger danger, potential skinned knees, the thinning ozone layer or whatever the reason, loving and protective parents are keeping their kids close.. and often indoors.

Now, I’m not here to tell any parent what’s right or wrong about their parenting decisions. But I am here to plead the case for your child’s need to move... a lot... which requires the kinds of large, open and varied expanses only the outdoors can accommodate. For instance, running as fast as you possibly can can't be done indoors. Neither can running uphill or down, in the tall grass or the sand, through a summer shower or over an icy slope. Yet it's these exact kinds of diverse conditions young children need to build their bodies, challenge their abilities, and develop self-assurance. If your child can't get outside to play as often as he needs and wants to, in my view, it's unlikely he'll be stretching himself to his fullest potential.

GROWING AN ENVIRONMENTALIST

Some futurists predict the single, greatest challenge our children's generation will face is the environment -- climate change, alternative energy sources, clean air, clean water, fresh food supplies and the like.

But if the futurists are correct, it’s hard to imagine how this next generation is going to save the environment if they haven’t actually spent much time in it. Children need to build up their knowledge and familiarity with nature in order to develop respect for it. And respect, along with resourcefulness, is what our planet is going to need from our children. So I say, best to start early.

DISCOVERY

And once they do get outside, there it is... nature's endless treasure hunt of things large and small to fascinate the curious, inspire the imaginative, and humble us all. Like a small child, nature never stops growing and changing. And like a great teacher, nature always has something new to share. Excitement-hungry kids never tire of nature because nature always has another mystery up her sleeve.

NO SUBSTITUTE

Arguably, the biggest competitor nature has for children’s time and attention is technology. TVs, computers, smart phones and the like are compelling to the point of compulsive. Images flashing furiously across the screen set to pulse-pounding soundtracks feel rich and full.

But even when the content is educational in intent, it's no substitute for the real thing... for seeing nature in the flesh, hearing it, touching it, smelling it, tasting it, running through it, around it, on it, over it, and getting dirty in it.

No screen – not even those that mimic 3D vision – can ever provide the sensory experiences, physical clarity, and emotional enlightenment nature provides free of charge every day.

AND IF YOU’RE STILL NOT CONVINCED...

Think of this. If you've printed out this blog, you’re holding a tree in your hand. If you’re reading this on a screen, you’re holding a dinosaur fossil.

Everything comes from nature. Including us. And we'd all do well to step outside and remember that.

MEET MUDDO, THE MUDDOSAURUS!

Thanks to the Nature Action Collaborative for Children and World Forum Foundation for creating International Mud Day! And in honor of the occasion I thought you all might enjoy meeting a mysteriously, muddy creature known as the Muddosaurus. Muddo, as I call him, lives in my garden and loves mud. But he's very, very shy and I've actually never seen him. Know how I know he's there? Because each time it rains, he comes out to play and leaves his footprints in the mud for me to find. I sure would like to meet Muddo someday...

THE GAME

I wonder how we might coax shy Muddo to come out and play with us today? What if we left our muddy footprints in the mud for Muddo to find?

UNDERSTANDING TIME & SPACE... LEAVING YOUR MARK

Footprints fascinate little ones. The idea that they have left their imprint on the land not only makes them feel powerful and important, it also introduces the abstract concepts of time and space. A hand or footprint left behind is a tangible sign "I was there" and now "I'm over here."

DIFFFERENT WAYS TO PLAY

Any amount of mud will do, however, if you're squeamish, you can also play in wet sand in the sandbox or at the beach.

If you don't have sand or mud handy, dust the patio or driveway with flour which makes a great canvas for imprints.

If you're in colder climates, play the winter version with Muddo's cousin, Snowasaurus!

And of course, anytime you're indoors, a tub or two of Play-Doh, makes this a great tabletop finger game.

INTRODUCING THE GAME

If this is a first-mud experience for your child, start by showing him how to leave a footprint in the mud.  Have him clomp around and makes lots of mud prints, and notice how he watches to see the marks he's left behind. (For first-timers, this may be enough. But if your child wants more, then continue.)

MEET MUDDO

Tell the story of the mysterious Muddosaurus who loves leaving his footprints in the mud. But he's really shy and doesn't come out to play unless there's a friend around. Muddo might come out to play if we make Muddo footprints for him to follow.

1. Encourage your child to show you what Muddo's footprints look like...

I wonder how big Muddo's feet are?

I wonder how many toes Muddo has?

I wonder how many feet Muddo has?

I wonder where Muddo would like to go today? Should we make him a path?

2. Now, if you're really adventurous, take the next muddy step...

I wonder what Muddo's hands are like? What would it look like if Muddo put his hands in the mud?

Maybe Muddo would come out to play if we drew a picture for him in the mud.

3. And finally, and certainly not for the faint of heart...

I wonder what it feels like to be a Muddosaurus who rolls in the mud!

And just remember this. For generations and generations, soap and water has never failed to conquer any amount of mud a kid can get into! 

Enjoy!

P.S. And if you're lucky enough to catch a glimpse of Muddo, snap a picture and send it to me.

For more information on International Mud Day go to...

http://worldforumfoundation.org/wf/wp/initiatives/nature-action-collaborative-for-children/international-mud-day-2011

MOMMY, I'M BORED!

“Boredom is a blessing,” I always say. Of course, when my kids were young they groaned when I said that because they were looking for me to provide a ready-made solution. But as I saw it then and am even more convinced now, constantly rescuing a child from the clutches of boredom is not a good idea. I looked at it this way...

Stuck in a tree? I'm right there for you.

Stuck on a homework problem? No problem. How can I help?
Stuck with nothing to do? Over to you, kid.

Now, if you're thinking that sounds harsh, please keep reading. If you agree with me, jump to the bottom of this post for a few additional thoughts you might find of interest on those inevitable, "Mommy, I'm borrrrred" days.

THE BENEFITS OF BOREDOM

Boredom is not a life-threatening disorder, nor the end of the world. In fact, quite the opposite. Boredom can be the beginning of a whole, new, eye-opening world for children...

DISCOVERY & ADVENTURE.  An essential gateway to discovery-rich, life-enhancing, imagination-generated possibilities.

HANDS-ON CHARACTER-BUILDING. A perfect, kid-sized opportunity to fend for herself, building the underlying self-awareness, confidence, and resilience necessary to develop self-reliance.

CREATION & ORIGINATION. An opportunity to invent something entirely of her own making, which is often the best way to learn about the world and (even more important) to learn about herself. Without a prescribed activity or set of instructions, a child is forced to experiment and find her own way of doing things. Fascinating, passionate pursuits are often born out of these experiments. And when a child really cares about what she's doing, she'll stick to it longer and learn more from it.

So with all that at stake, I say, let 'em be bored!

But when?

THE OVER-SCHEDULED CHILD

Much has been written in recent years about the over-scheduled lives of our children, and the potential negative effects. Insufficient "downtime" can impose unnecessary stress on little ones, precipitate early achievement-fatigue, and rob them of the time they naturally need (and they need lots) to discover, explore, think, imagine and create on their own.

Making more time in your child's day for free play -- including boredom -- is the easy and obvious antidote to this dilemma. But here's the thing. When our modern mindset is to "make" free time, is it really free?

I fear the biggest danger lurking behind the unyielding calendar of drop-offs and pick-ups is a false lesson in the value of time -- that time is measured in how much you cram into it rather than how much you get out of it.

"MOMMY, I'M BORRRRRED!"

A child has no patience for doing nothing, and in the absence of someone serving her up a ready-made solution, she will dig into her imagination and discover her own ingenuity. But in order for this to happen, you have to trust your child and trust in the power of boredom.

So, to help you navigate the murky waters of "Mommy, I'm borrrrred," here are a few "Disboredoment Strategies" I've found useful over the years...

"DISBOREDOMENT" STRATEGIES

1. DON'T SOLVE IT. When your child whines about being bored, deflect it. Always show understanding and sympathy for her nothing-to-do plight so that she knows you care about her and her feelings, but offer no solutions. Instead, deflect the question back...

"What do you think you'd like to do today?"

"What did you do the last time you had nothing to do?"

Sometimes all she'll need is to talk about it and then she'll find her own solution. Other times not. If she's still complaining, sketch out some broad alternatives...

Suggest a change of scenary: "What about playing outside in the yard?"

Suggest a different prop: "What about finding a toy you haven't played with in a while?"

Suggest a type of activity: "What about making something? What would you like to make?"

Notice how these questions are still open-ended, requiring your child to find the specific answers for herself. And try not to lead her one way or another. A critical part of the growth and development she'll get from free play is in deciding what to play.

And, I think it's obvious, but I'll say it anyway. Television, computers, and video games are part of the problem and NEVER the solution. Kids learn nothing of value by watching others do things.

2. DON'T JUMP IN. Free time should be as uninterrupted and unsupervised as possible (unless safety is an issue, of course). That means you need to stay out of it.  A child's free time, alone or with siblings/playmates, should be hers to do with it what she wants.

That said, if your child asks for your time to play, you should give it freely whenever you can. Invitations to play are important for building strong bonds between you. However, if your child is turning to you to be her playmate all the time, you should be careful to help her strike a balance. It's essential she learn to play alone, even if that means putting up with a lot of "Mommy, I'm borrrrred" whining for a while.

3. VALUE HER CHOICES. No matter what she chooses to do with her "nothing to do" time, be sure to acknowledge her choices, show interest in her discoveries, encourage her curiosity and persistence, and project forward, asking her what she's going to do next.

Make note of what she tells you and watch for continued interest in the subject. For instance, if she chooses to create a dinosaur pit in the backyard, watch to see how long she pursues it. If it lasts for more than a few days, you might want to suggest a trip to the library for some dinosaurs books.

So the next time you hear, "Mommy, I'm borrrrred," remember. This is your signal to do nothing. And I think we can all agree, moms deserve some nothing-to-do time too!

A DAY LIKE NO OTHER

Every once in a while, a perfect day comes along. And what makes it perfect is you know it while you're in it.

That was yesterday.

Sipping tea by the window,

Seemed an ordinary start,

To a day like no other,

Sure to live in my heart.

 

To be born on this day,

On a day like no other,

A grandson, a nephew,

A new baby brother.

 

My oldest is Mummy,

To my Princess of Joy.

And hours from now,

A new baby boy.

 

Will she be alright? Will he be OK?

I worry a worry in my moms-only way.

 

The house is now stirring,

They're up from their beds,

The silence retreats.

The giggling spreads.

 

Big sister-to-be,

And her Auntie Lu,

Already at play,

So pure and so true.

 

Today is the day,

Bob the Builder arrives!

The two year old cheers,

Awaiting her prize!

 

But wait we must do. We must wait, wait, wait, wait.

What to do when you're two, and the waiting has weight?

Cupcakes. Yes, cupcakes!

That's what we'll do!

But we're all out of purple,

So let's make them blue.

 

But cupcakes alone,

Don't seem quite enough.

A cake and a card,

Now that's the right stuff.

 

We mixed up the cupcakes

And licked the big spoon.

Then right to the oven,

They'll be ready soon.

 

Now the paints and the paper to make his first card.

(Are they forgetting that waiting is hard?)

 

Next, the blue icing.

The two year old grins.

Aunt Lu Lu has sprinkles,

All over her chin.

 

At last, we are ready.

Nothing's left to be done.

When the message arrives...

 

My girl has a son.

 

A granny, an auntie,

And a brand new big sister,

Jump up and down,

And twist like a twister!

 

My girl is alright. Her boy is OK.

The tears wash my moms-only worries away.

 

For born on this day,

A day like no other,

A grandson, a nephew,

A new baby brother.

Welcome, Jacob. Want a cupcake?

Love,

Granny Gill, Auntie Lu Lu, and Big Sister Caitlin

RESPECT THE MESS!

Much has been written about the benefits of Messy Play. It is great sensory stimulation for young minds discovering a hands-on world, and it develops strength and fine motor coordination in those curious little fingers. And that's all great, except for one thing. There's more to it than that.

Now, most parents intuitively understand that kids come with a certain amount of mess and adopt a quiet, tolerance towards it. But when you've got the mop out taking care of your end of Messy Play for the third time today, it can be frustrating. So I thought it might be helpful for you to understand just why all that mess is so important, in hopes of bolstering your Messy Play resolve.

So let's start with some basics...

WHAT IS MESSY PLAY?

The traditional definition of Messy Play refers to different kinds of sensory materials that children use with their hands. The list looks something like this...

WET/VISCOUS           

Mud                                   

Slime

Play-Doh

Clay

Glue

Fingerpaints

Foam

Fun Foods like Jellies, Jams, Peanut Butter, Jello, etc.

Snow

Soap, Bubble Bath, Bath Foams, etc.

Water

DRY/TEXTURED

Sand

Dirt

Glitter

Markers

Crayons

Dry Baking Ingredients such as Flour, Sugar, Grains, Oats, etc.

And on and on.

Pretty much Messy Play materials are anything that can and will travel to places wholly unrelated to the designated play space and often show up weeks later despite the most vigorous and vigilant clean up.

However, my definition of Messy Play is a little different.

And a lot messier...

MORE MESS IS BETTER MESS

Tactile, sensory experiences with materials like these are so vital to your child's developing brain, why stop at the wrist? In fact, I recommend WHOLE-BODY MESSY PLAY whenever possible.

You see, as we've discussed in previous blogs, the brain learns from the experiences the body provides. Sensory stimulation is the key to early learning, helping the brain craft its own unique picture (and judgments) about our world. When your child is fully immersed head to toe (or at least elbow-deep), sensory receptors in the skin are complimenting all of her other senses in developing that "full picture" the brain needs, while giving her a better sense of herself as well.

And while the mess is molding your child's brain, it's doing a whole lot more too...

FINE MOTOR MESSINESS

Back to the hands for a moment. Think about the last time you had a blob of Play-Doh in your hands. Chances are you couldn't put it down -- squeezing it, shaping it, poking holes in it, pressing it through your fingers, etc. The very nature of Messy Play is a call to action for the fingers, working the tiny muscles to build strength, endurance, and coordinated movements. This, in combination with core and upper body development, is where young hands form the ability to carefully manipulate a crayon, a pencil, pen, keyboard, piano keys, guitar strings, slide rules, etc.

CLEANLINESS IS NEXT TO MESSINESS

What does clean feel like? As an adult, my guess is that you would describe it something like this. Let's use the hands again as an example...

"Clean is when my hands don't feel sticky, gooey, gravelly or chalky... when there is no dirt or stains on my skin or under my fingernails... when my hands don't smell of anything other than soap or lotion... when I feel comfortable touching something precious (or white) or shaking someone's hand." In other words, clean is what's NOT messy.

So consider this. How can your child be expected to understand clean if she doesn't have meaningful experiences with messy?

MESSY MANIA

Now, this is where parents get really nervous. "Messy" is one thing. But put it in the same sentence with "Mania" and that's where most will draw the line. But if you know the old saying, "In for a penny, in for a pound" you know what I'm talking about. Getting messy is like a license to get even messier. And when "messier" happens, something else kicks in. The exuberant freedom Messy Mania provides from the everyday expectations of conformity and neatness is a great emotional release for children.

But more, within these playful confines, children learn an important life lesson about what it feels like to go too far. And while I realize that may sound a bit scary to parents too, your child needs to explore all of her boundaries -- even, and maybe especially, the messy ones. You see, playing with those boundaries with things like mud in your hair or sand in your shoes or snow down your back gives children tangible, physical experiences with the idea of "too far" that they will be able to apply to other, more important situations down the road.

And for the clean up crew, let's be honest. There comes a point where there's pretty much no difference between "messy" and "messier."  

THE POWER OF MESS

The ability to effect change is one of the most important learning experiences for your young child. When she discovers she can make a difference -- large or small, accidental or deliberate, neat or messy -- she is awakening to the idea that she has the power to do things herself. And Messy Play is a dramatic expression of that power because she's seeing big changes of her own making as she physically transforms herself and the space around her.

I'll admit, the mess at the end of your mop is no fun for you. But remember, it's a mountain full of skill and confidence building for your little one.

THE AFTER MESS

Which brings me to the last, and perhaps most important benefit of Messy Play. When your child observes or participates in the clean up she is learning from you how important it is to respect her environment. By seeing the transformation from messy back to neat, she is learning that she is part of something bigger than herself -- your family -- and she's right at home where she belongs... AFTER she takes a bath!

DON'T TAKE A BATH, TALK A BATH!

Messy Play extends right into the bathtub! Soap suds and bath foams, gels, and creams offer great, whole body, Messy Play sensory experiences too. Now add one more element, and you can turn bath time into learning time.

My daughter and son-in-law have been playing this bath time game with my granddaughter since she was an infant. Now at age two, she already has a sense of left from right, and demonstrates good body awareness.

The key to this simple, "Talk A Bath" activity is consistency. Each night as you're washing your child in the bath, talk to her about the different parts of her body. Be specific, and associate what you're saying with what she's feeling as you use the soap and bath cloths to get her clean. For instance...

RUB-A-DUB-DUB

"This is your right elbow. Let's get it nice and clean."

"And your right elbow is part of your right arm."

"At the end of your right arm is your right hand."

"Look, you have five fingers... one, two, three, four, five!"
And so on.

TOWELING OFF

Repeat the game when you're drying off with a nice, warm towel. This gives her a different sensory experience associated with the words you're using to describe her body.

PAJAMA TIME

And when she's getting her pajamas on, play the game one more time. The soft fabric of her pajamas gives her another different physical sensation as you reinforce body awareness with your words.

And of course, as she begins to develop her vocabulary, encourage her to join in the game as well! 


P.S. For great ideas to inspire your Messy Play days, please hop over to our friends at...
Hands On As We Grow,  Let the Children Play, and The Imagintion Tree