Moving Smart

LEARNING OFF ENERGY

2012-02-08T08:26:00.001-05:00

The other day, a proud, loving, enthusiastic mom told me, "I like to let my child run around and burn off energy."

Sigh.

You might be surprised to hear that this statement, well-intended though it may be, is a pet peeve of mine. In fact, I'm so peevish about it, I've decided to share a few thoughts on the matter.

To "burn off" means to "exhaust, deplete, waste, get rid of." And, of course, when it comes to little ones, that usually means getting those ants out of their pants. Now, in my line of work I certainly understand antsy kids, and appreciate any parent wise enough to spot the signals and let their kids loose. But it's the adult logic that bugs me...

Why do adults think of kids letting loose as wasting energy, when in fact, all that running around and general silliness is the most essential fuel of early childhood development?

I call this "Huff 'n Puff" play. Let's examine it a little more closely...

THE BENEFITS OF HUFF 'N PUFF

BODY FREEDOM. Moving his body with abandon is your child's chance to experience every inch of himself without order, structure, or limits. In so many ways, this is how he's getting to know himself.... physically and emotionally. And while it may look wildly silly or out of control to us, this self-exploration is actually helping him learn self-control...

LEARNING LIMITS. Running until you can't run any more is one of nature's clever ways of helping your child understand that there is such a thing as going too far. You see, if it feels good to your child, he's naturally going to want more of it, whether it's running at top speed, roughhousing with his brother, scarfing down more ice cream, or listening to that bedtime story for the 27th time. And while the grown-ups in his life are providing the important boundaries he needs, not until he experiences his own physical limitations... like running until he can't run anymore... will the idea of going too far become real, tangible, and concretely understood.

EMOTIONAL PRACTICE. Life doesn't happen at one speed, nor do emotions. Free play -- with as few restrictions as is safely possible -- gives children a place to practice their emotional range and push beyond what they've felt before. For instance, climbing on the monkeybars is usually an iterative process. Few kids race to the top on the first try. But over time, they will challenge themselves to climb up another level and see how it feels. When they do that, they are empowering themselves to decide what does and doesn't feel right to them... learning the boundaries of their own comfort zone.

THE POWER OF CONCENTRATION. This may surprise you, but in fact, movement is often the way the body assists the brain in getting and staying focused. For instance, think of the last time your preschooler drew a picture at the kitchen table. Chances are, he was moving parts (or all) of his body the whole time -- swinging his legs, standing up and leaning over the table, scratching his head, sticking his tongue out, kneeling on the chair... well, you get the picture.

Adults generally think sitting still is how we concentrate, when in fact, it's likely that kind of fidgeting is signaling your child's earnest effort to stay on task. These natural movements are triggered by the Reticular Activating System -- a sort of early warning system in the brain that sends signals to the body to start moving in order to “wake up” the cortex -- the thinking part of the brain.

In other words, movement helps us stop and think, especially when we're running at top speed...

MINDFULNESS. When a young child (or for that matter, anyone of any age), is fully engaged in physical activity the body and brain are harmonized. Endorphins start the party and before you know it, you've lost all track of what's past or what's next, content to be in the moment and with the movement. For little ones, I like to think of movement as their form of meditation. I call it "kiditation" -- that sense of "possibleness" young minds and fertile imaginations need to grasp, interpret and absorb all the new sights, sounds, sensations, experiences, and ideas they encounter each day.

So, the next time you see your child running, jumping, or just plain letting loose, try to see it the way nature does and say to yourself...

"I like to let him run around and LEARN off energy!"

Because, to me, that's energy we can't afford to burn.

As we noted, high energy, Huff 'n Puff play is a form of emotional "practice" which means it's also a form of emotional release. Try this game the next time you BOTH need to let off a little steam!

Young children often don't understand the power of their own voice. To help your child learn to control his own volume... to hear the difference between his "indoor" and "outdoor" voices, try a game of Yahoo!

YAHOO!

The object of the game is to be the loudest or the quietest. Have your child repeat Yahoo! after you, challenging him to be quieter or louder than you. Start softly and work your way up.

ROUND 1: WHISPERS. Huddle close and whisper Yahoo!

ROUND 2: INDOOR VOICE. Hold hands and say Yahoo! in your indoor voice.

ROUND 3: OUTDOOR VOICE. High five and holler Yahoo! in your loudest outdoor voice! And don't forget to jump as high as you can when you holler! Be big. Be bold. Be silly!

Encourage your child follow your lead at first, then reverse roles and have him take the lead. And be sure to follow closely so he knows you're listening at any volume.

RECOMMENDED READING

For more information and tons of great ideas for high-energy play, you're going to love The Art of Roughhousing, a short, fast, fun book full of shenanigans every kid should know! http://theartofroughhousing.com/

STROLLER TIME! Making the Most of Your Walk

2012-01-16T15:21:00.008-05:00

I walk every day in the local park near my house and I see a lot of moms out with young children in strollers and push chairs. It’s good exercise for moms and gives children lots of fresh air and a nice change of scenery. In fact, a nice long walk is a great idea for both of you, but it can also be a missed opportunity, not only for your child, but for you too. Here’s what I mean...

FRONT ROW SEAT

Many strollers and push chairs are designed to position the child facing outwards. It seems like a good idea on the surface because it gives your child a front row seat to the world (or at least the park). And for certain, I would never argue with giving children new and exciting things to look at each day. That’s great visual stimulation in and of itself.

However, beyond that, I’m not sure what else a very young child actually gets out of his “front row seat.” You see, infants don’t know what they’re looking at and without the comforting sounds of someone familiar (you) “narrating” the scene, chances are, it’s nothing more than a silent movie with no sub-titles -- images fly by, but the story is hard to follow.

TALK THE WALK!

In order to make the most of your daily walk for your child, I recommend putting yourself into the role of your baby’s tour guide. Each day, talk about whatever you see... the warm sunshine, the tall trees, the beautiful flowers, and the white fences that line the pathways. These may be old news to you, and it might even feel a little silly, but to your child this is a wonderland of fascinating, fabled proportions!

Then stop and take him out of the chair. Let him touch the flowers or the tree bark. Sit or lay him on the grass and let him feel the dew on his skin. And talk about it all. Repeat the words as he sees, hears, touches, and smells the world around him. While your words may just be sounds to him at first, eventually they will start to make sense. For you see, your words are the very foundation for helping him find his own someday.

FACE TIME

And remember. No matter how beautiful the scenery, you are his favorite thing to look at. So be sure to spend as much "face time" as you can.

Not only will this give him a terrific, word-filled, multi-sensory experience, it gives both of you a chance to spend some time in the sunshine... face to face!

UNTIL...

2011-12-29T09:00:00.013-05:00

"Weeds are flowers too when you get to know them."

The other day, I ran across this quote by A.A. Milne, author of the classic Winnie the Pooh tales. How lovely it must be to live amongst such thoughts I think. Its conspicuous innocence dances with me, yet I struggle to hold on...

"Weeds are flowers too when you get to know them."

I circle its earnestness. It circles my adultness. And just when I think we've found our rhythm, my reason shatters the music...

"Weeds are flowers too UNTIL you get to know them."

Until. A single word can change everything.

Until snatches the sweetness away.

Until stops the imagination cold.

Until insists it is the only, obvious, and irrevocable truth.

Until I remember that "until" is a mere matter of opinion.

A MATTER OF OPINION

Your child knows what she knows and no more, equipped only with her own, naive reference points to evaluate and categorize information then form her own opinions about things. Until...

ULTRA-ABSORBENCY

As a parent, whether it seems like it or not some days, your little one is tuned in to your every word, attitude, emotion, gesture and feeling, absorbing it all and interpreting it to the best of her young ability.

As your child's principle life guide, you are leaving an indelible mark on her world view, which in my opinion, is the most powerful part of the parent's job, especially when it comes to matters that matter... principles, morals and ethics, personal safety and risk assessment, social appropriateness, and personal/emotional regulation.

But your influence extends far beyond the "meaningful" into the garden variety stuff of everyday banalities we adults don't think twice about. Like weeds.

KNOWLEDGE AND OPINION ARE TWO DIFFERENT THINGS

When you tell your child a flower is a weed, she'll believe you. And when you tell her weeds are bad, she'll believe that too. But what have you just imparted? The word, "weed" is factual and true. The label "bad" is actually just your opinion.

Now, consider this. What if before you injected that opinion, your child thought this flower-turned-weed was the most beautiful and exotic thing she'd ever seen? What's going through her little mind now that she "knows" weeds are bad?

She might follow your lead and change her view to yours. After all, you are her most trusted advisor and what does she know from weeds? But even if she doesn't, limitations have now been imposed that didn't have to be...

1. DOUBT. Because you said so, she may decide that her initial fascination was somehow "wrong." And nobody likes to be wrong. Worse, her trust in her own judgment might be dented just a little. What about the next flower she encounters? Will she appreciate it for its natural wonder, or naturally wonder if it's a weed.

2. UNDER-DISCOVERY. Exploring and learning is incredibly empowering for little ones. But shading the fact of a thing with an opinion of a thing (good or bad) is bound to limit what it can be in her young and fertile mind. For instance, "icky mud" is decidedly different from "mud."

Discovery is a personal, even selfish process for a young child that must be safeguarded for her own opinion-making purposes. Yes, HER opinion. You see, her feelings about what she encounters in her world are the very basis for developing healthy self-esteem, independent thought, curiosity, persistence, and resilience... all essential ingredients to her approach to learning... and life.

3. SHARED VIEWPOINT. And what about you? What could you be short-circuiting that the two of you might discover together? Shaping your child's world view may be the most powerful part of being a parent, but letting your child show you how she sees the world opens the doors to illumination that is yours to keep for a lifetime.

WHAT'S THE HARM?

I realize that every ounce of the parent in you wants to provide your child with all that you "know" in order to prepare and protect her for life. But before you do, ask yourself, "How can I share with my child what she needs to know while leaving room for her to form her own opinions?"

When I arrived at this inevitable crossroads with my girls, and now with my granddaughter, I stop to ask myself another question... "What's the harm if she doesn't know what I know right now?"

Clearly, if there's an apparent physical hazard, I step in. Likewise, if social or emotional behavioral issues arise, it may be time for some guidance.

But when my granddaughter tells me dandelions are beautiful, I smile broadly and agree completely... until she decides otherwise, of course.

In this holiday season of innocence and renewal, I wish for you seeds of illumination and weeds of wonder in the New Year.

A BAD BOUNCE FOR KIDS

2011-11-29T22:43:00.000-05:00

Never, NEVER, NEVER! in my 30+ years of advocacy for early childhood movement and play did I ever think I'd have to defend the role of the red rubber ball in a child's life, but alas, here I am.

It was reported several weeks ago that a school in Canada has banned soccer balls, footballs, volleyballs, basketballs, and the like from the playground for safety reasons. As you can imagine, like so many others, I say grrrrrrrr.

But outrage alone won't solve anything, so instead, allow me to recount the obvious, and perhaps not-so-obvious benefits of ball play for you...

ON A ROLL...

The objective of pretty much every ball game is to MOVE the ball which, in turn, makes it high energy play. How, where and when you move and control the ball is up to you in accordance to the rules of the game you choose, but by and large, Ball Play involves one or more gross-motor, whole-body skills including: throwing, rolling, kicking, bouncing, and batting. To adults, these seem simple enough, but in order to do any of these ordinary activities, sophisticated sensory and motor skills are at work including Proprioception (a sense of your own body), Spatial Awareness (a sense of the space you occupy), Temporal Awareness (timing), Directionality, Balance, Eye/Hand and Eye/Foot Coordination, among others.

But physical activity and the fitness that results is only the beginning of the benefits of ball play.

THE BAD BOUNCE

The natural, unplugged, kinetic energy of a rolling, bouncing, spinning, soaring, red rubber ball is a universal metaphor for child’s play. And for good reason. If you think about it, the red rubber ball plays exactly the same way a young child does... tirelessly rolling from one thing to another with nothing more than a simple nudge in any direction.

And with that nudge, just like little ones, the simple-yet-enigmatic red rubber ball reacts in endlessly unpredictable ways. Which way will it roll this time? How far and fast will it go? How high will it bounce? And where will it go after that?

Take, for instance, catching a ball. Your child must anticipate or predict the direction and speed of the ball as it’s coming at her. Then, she has to figure out how to get herself in position to meet and catch the ball. Every part of her body is involved in the effort, and whether she catches it or not, her brain has tracked and recorded the nature and physics of that experience in order to apply it the next time. Only, here’s the thing with Ball Play. Chances are the ball will react a little or a lot differently the next time! As such, Ball Play keeps little ones on their toes, expecting the unexpected, teaching their brains and their bodies to react to changing circumstances. In other words, Ball Play is an early lesson in the art and science of unpredictability and learning to control situations and ourselves in the process.

In my view, this is reason alone to restore ball play to the playground. Life is full of ups and downs and learning to “roll” with the punches is all a part of growing up. A child who learns to manage her reactions to changing situations is much more likely to have the confidence and resilience necessary for situations far more important than a “bad bounce.”

THE EVILS OF BALL-HOGGING

When playing with two or more players, the object of the game usually has something to do with passing the ball back and forth. That means from the outset, children are learning to let go and trust that somehow the ball will make its way back to them. As such, ball play is one of the first, physical realizations of the broader concept of sharing, and may explain why we all feel an immediate and lasting disdain for ball hogs.

TO BOUNCE OR NOT TO BOUNCE

By it’s very unstructured nature, a ball can become anything in the hands of the players. Whether it's a conventional game of soccer or basketball, or one the players make up on the spot, the simple, red rubber ball may well be one of the world's most perfect toys – a cooperative playmate for any game the players wants to play.

DUCK!

And finally, yes, I agree in a playground filled with children and balls flying through the air that there is a chance an out of control throw or kick may hit the wrong target. Yet I would argue that if your child is never in a situation where the unexpected happens, how will she ever learn to duck? Ducking is an essential life skill... self-protection at its most rudimentary level. After all, avoiding trouble often begins with the ability to see it coming.

Now, no one wants to see anyone get hurt, but in light of the physical, cognitive, emotional, and social benefits of Ball Play, in my opinion, banning ball play on the playground is not only a visceral outrage, it is an educational affront, and a bad bounce for today's kids.

IN DEFENSE OF READING WITH YOUR FINGERS

2011-10-07T12:53:00.001-04:00

The other day I was speaking to a mom of a six year old who was beside herself because her little one uses his fingers to follow the words on the page when reading. She asked if this suggested a developmental delay or if she should be looking for a reading tutor for her son. Here was my answer...

In a word, NO.

So here's the deal.

PHYSICALIZING LEARNING

Children learn with their bodies first, so why should reading be any different? The common wisdom is that children should read with their eyes only and, for that matter, keep their fingers out of the counting. But this ignores the fact that young children learn just about everything else kinesthetically.

For early readers, the fingers often form a little scouting party for the eyes, helping keep the eyes on track and flowing from one word to the next. This actually helps him focus on the meaning of the words rather than on the physical mechanics of moving his eyes from one word to the next. As his eye muscles mature and become more familiar with the experience, they will naturally grow in proficiency and his fingers will no longer be needed.

Likewise, counting on his fingers is his brain’s way of physicalizing numeracy – a natural, multi-sensory entry into the amazing world of mathematics. And again, when he’s mastered counting, chances are he won’t need his fingers any more. And even if he does from time to time, it’s just his way of dimensionalizing and deepening the learning.

EYE/HAND DEVELOPMENT

This is a great example of why eye tracking and eye/hand coordination are important to develop in the early years of life. Eye tracking, of course, is a necessary physical skill for reading... moving the eyes in a deliberate, and disciplined manner. And you can see it happening naturally as your child grows. For instance, when a child watches a balloon floating away, you might see him point up into the sky. This is his way of helping his eyes stay focused on the balloon.

Later on, the eyes will serve as the director for your child's best learning tools... his own hands. Now this takes a lot of time and practice and little ones make a lot of mistakes along the way (spilled milk, anyone?). And again, you'll see it happening every day. For instance, try batting a balloon to your little one and you might see him shut his eyes tight as the balloon comes towards him. Or, if his eyes are open, his might entirely miss catching it because his hands are splayed out and not in position for the catch. With time and practice, he will be able to bring his eyes and hands together at will and do so without having to think about it. When that happens, his eyes and hands are now the tools he'll use for other, larger, deeper, and more complex pursuits... like reading.

CATCH THAT BALLOON!

Next time you've got a balloon around the house, try catching it in all sorts of fun ways. For instance...

STANDING

Catch it up high.

(hands above your head)

Catch it down low.

(hands below your knees)

Catch on your thumb.

Catch it on your toe!

SITTING

Catch it with your wrists.

Catch it with your knees.

Catch it with your elbows.

Bounce it one, two three!

(bounce on the tips of your fingers)

LYING DOWN

Catch it on your nose.

Catch it with your feet.

Catch it on your tummy.

Catch it with your seat!

READY OR NOT...

2011-09-07T09:00:00.002-04:00

I understand that in the North America and Europe children are heading back to school and I was thinking about my days as an early years (kindergarten) teacher. On that first day, those shining faces would enter my classroom... some excited... some petrified... some "ready"... some "not." And the kids were excited too.

SCHOOL READINESS

Now this business of "readiness" is a subject of much debate amongst educational thought leaders, school administrators, teachers, and of course, parents. Everyone has their version of THE list of essential skills and abilities necessary before the first day of school and parents are mindful and often fretful that their child (and by extension, their own standing as a parent) measures up.

But in and amongst all this well-meaning, grown-up toing-and-froing over the annual Readiness List, there's one question I rarely hear anyone ask...

Who says you need a list?

THE OBSTACLE COURSE

In early childhood development, EVERYTHING is important. Indeed, the very nature of early childhood is an intricate weave, where a little bit of everything is developing all at once all the time. In other words, no physical skill, cognitive thought, creative inspiration, emotional awakening, or social nuance is built in complete isolation. Instead, each experience and advancement nourishes all the others which in turn, propels the WHOLE CHILD forward. And, frankly, I just can't work out how to put all of that on a single, linear, prescriptive list.

That’s why it’s essential to maintain perspective and take the long view of these important, early years. Think of it as an obstacle course. Your child is bound to excel in some areas and trip up in others. But the individual obstacles don't matter so much as how he navigates the ENTIRE course. And even more than that, how he feels about himself along the way.

And note, this is a solo course... only for your child. It isn’t a race. It isn’t a competition. It isn’t about being the first, or the best, or any ‘est of any kind, for that matter. Competition in any form, on any subject, from any source in the early childhood years injects artificial obstacles that complicate matters, add unnecessary stress to both you and your child, and worst of all can actually slow down his progress by concentrating on a single part of the course (good or bad) and not the whole.

"READINESS" IS A STATE OF MIND

In my view, the focus in early childhood needs to be on helping your child learn to navigate the course in HIS OWN WAY. And to me, that's the very definition of "readiness" -- an inherent confidence in his own abilities to master the challenges of his everyday world, whether it's on some list or not. After all, the purpose of education is to create a fully realized, independent individual, equipped with the courage, skill, resilience, and wisdom to one day chart his own course.

And that begins long before the first day of school.

WEATHER TO PLAY: The Snow of August, Part 2

2011-08-17T23:44:00.001-04:00

Weather is always a great excuse to get outside and play, but Caitlin's reluctance about the cold and the snow came as a surprise to me. She's usually a "go for it" kind of kid. (See The Snows of August, Part 1)

AT THE CHILD'S PACE

Despite all the convincing that needed to be done, I was quite sure once we were outside Caitlin's natural kid instinct to explore would kick in. But even so, it's best not to rush things when a little one is feeling timid. Instead, I try to follow the child's curiosity and pace while gently preparing them for new sensations. So here's what we did...

We crouched down and we felt the snow with our gloves. It felt soft and a little heavy in our hands. (Good snowman snow, I'm thinking.)

Then we decided to step on the snow. "It's like walking on the beach. Your feet sink down a little," I said, taking the first step so she could see what it looked like.

We walked across the garden feeling the snow sink under each step. Caitlin concentrated on her boots and wobbled a bit to steady herself. Caitlin agreed, "Like the beach."

In fact, except for the wardrobe, snow and sand play are remarkably similar when you think about it. And both provide great developmental benefits. For instance...

STRENGTH, BALANCE & PROPRIOCEPTION

Because of the shifting nature of snow and sand, walking or running presents challenges for fundamental movement skills we otherwise take for granted.

STRENGTH. When we walk or run, we use our feet to push against the ground to propel ourselves forward. But on sand or snow, the ground gives way a bit. This changes our natural gait to a more deliberate, forceful dig to find firm ground which builds muscle strength, of course. But more...

BALANCE. On any unsteady surface, the body and brain must constantly coordinate to find the center of gravity and maintain balance. That's why we're all a bit "wobbly" when we start out.

PROPRIOCEPTION. And with each step the brain is learning about the uneven terrain. If you think about it, when you first step on the snow or the sand, you don't exactly know how firm the footing will be, so you adjust your step according to what happened with the last one. That's your proprioceptive sensors working with your brain to modify your movements to the immediate situation.

TEMPORAL AWARENESS: LOOK HOW FAR WE'VE COME!

When we made it to the far side of the garden, we stopped and looked back at our footprints in the snow. "Look where we started and look where we are now," I said. Caitlin decided to retrace her steps in her own footprints. And so we did.

TEMPORAL AWARENESS. I'm a big fan of footprints for helping little ones understand important abstract concepts of time and space. Known as Temporal Awareness, footprints or anything that tracks your progress from here to there helps little ones physically experience the passage of space and time... the very idea of where I've come from and where I'm going next.

(For a fun game that can be played in snow, sand, or mud (yes, mud!), try the Muddo the Muddosaurus activity at the bottom of our recent posts... You Can't Run Uphill Indoors

LET'S MAKE A SNOWMAN!

By the time we finished with our footprints, Caitlin had fully warmed up to the snow, so I suggested we make a snowman. She knew about snowmen and had "helped" her mum draw one on paper that very morning, so she was anxious to try. But of course, this being her very first snowfall, she had no idea how. So I took her through the process step by step, demonstrating as we went along.

For brand new experiences, I find it's best to verbally prepare the child for what's going to happen, then get down on the ground and do a hands-on demonstration. I explained that we need to make two big snowballs, one for his head and one for his tummy. "Let's try to make one, shall we?"

I packed some snow into a snowball, and then together, we started to roll it around the ground gathering more snow as we went. "Look, as we roll, he's getting bigger and bigger," I narrated. (Narration sounds funny to an adult ear, but believe me, little ones are soaking it all in, so KEEP TALKING!)

We decided that he should stand just outside the window so we rolled our big snowball over to just the right spot.

Then Caitlin said something that I had to stop and think about. "Now let's make his tummy."

GRAVITY IN PLAY

Earlier that morning, Caitlin had spent time drawing snowmen on paper. Typically, when we draw a snowman (or any other figure for that matter) start with the head. Think about that for a minute. As humans, when we imagine ourselves, we see our face first. The head is our natural starting point, so of course, Caitlin, not understanding how physics and gravity work, was simply following her 2 1/2 year old human, head-first logic.

This is a perfect example of why young children need many different and varied experiences. Drawing on paper or an electronic tablet is great, of course. But a child's "diet" of creative activity must also include three-dimensional experiences to help them understand concepts such as shape, form, and yes, physics and gravity!

CREATIVE PROBLEM SOLVING

After making the tummy, we worked together to put his head on his body and then came all the fun of decorating him.

Again, it was up to me to coach my little first-timer along, so I said, "I wonder what we should we use for his face? I wonder what he would like to wear?" Caitlin gave this a good think, then we went inside to gather up all of our materials (including the classic carrot for his nose) and headed straight back out to finish up the job. (Clearly, the cold was no longer a bother for Caitlin.)

By offering your child as much of the decision making as you can, she is learning how to make choices for herself. And whether she chooses a carrot or an eggplant for the nose doesn't matter, because what you are witnessing is the very beginnings of real learning... confident, creative problem solving.

MORE PROPRIOCEPTION!

Caitlin started with the carrot and pushed it into the head a little too hard... actually with all the muscle she could muster!

Oops! The head fell off.

A little startled, she wasn't quite sure what to do, then smiled that "oopsie" smile of hers and we both had a grand giggle. A quick repair job and she was ready to try the nose again, this time going extra slowly.

Here again is another example of the "on the job training" our proprioceptive sensors do for us. Without me saying a word, Caitlin understood that she had used too much force the first time, and immediately adjusted her approach. The second time around, she started very slowly, and gradually added pressure to secure the carrot in place.

FINISHING TOUCHES

Two eyes, two ears, two arms and some hair (yes, hair) later, and we stood back and marveled at our creation. We high-fived, and I asked her what we should call him.

Caitlin didn't miss a beat.

"Princess."

SNOWMAN AROUND THE GLOBE

A Moving Smart Invitation to Play...

Snowmen never go out of season! So no matter where you are or what kind of weather you're enjoying right now, go make your own snowman out of snow, sand, dough, foam, or whatever you'd like!

And we'd love to see what you come up with, so please post pictures in our comments section, or leave us a link to your photos!

Have fun, and keep up the good play!

WEATHER TO PLAY: The Snows of August, Part 1

2011-08-16T00:18:00.005-04:00

I've been reading about the terrible heat wave sweeping across the United States this summer, so I thought my American friends might like to cool off with a look at what August is like here in New Zealand!

WARM UP!

Winters are generally pretty mild here. In fact, we haven't had any snow in recent years but that all changed a few weeks ago. And this being my granddaughter's first snowfall, I couldn't wait to shovel out and head over to my daughter's to be part of Caitlin's first official snow day... snowballs, snow angels, snow forts and my favorite of all, snowmen... not to mention the hot chocolate waiting for us when we come back inside.

When I arrived Caitlin was sitting by the window fascinated by her snow covered garden.

I invited her to come out make a snowman with me. But uncharacteristically, she DIDN'T want to.

I hid my childish disappointment.

"Too cold," she said, quickly reminding me that little ones don't always share grown-ups' enthusiasm for such things as snowmen. After all, they don't know what they don't know.

I sat down next to Caitlin and we pressed our noses to the cold window pane. We talked about how different the garden looks when covered with snow. We identified all of the familiar things in the garden by their shape... the picnic table, the play house, the swing set. Nothing had really changed after all.

We talked about the idea that snow is just like rain. (Caitlin loves rainy days and puddles in particular). We talked about how rain and snow fall from the clouds and change the ground. Rain makes things wet. Snow makes things white.

And we talked about the cold. I explained that it needed to be cold otherwise the snow would melt to rain and the ground would be wet not white. "And you can't make a snowman out of rain."

Caitlin nodded knowingly.

Then I added, "I wonder what our snowman would look like?" I could see Caitlin was wondering too.

And before long, we were bundling up and heading out the door.

Caitlin's mum put on some hot chocolate for our return.

And I hid my child-like excitement.

MANAGING PRESCHOOL RESISTANCE

Children react differently to different things. Sometimes they jump head first into a new experience. Other times they shrink back and hold tight to you. I always say a bad first impression can be overcome by a good first experience. If your child appears uncertain about trying something new, it's important to take the time to help her prepare in order to give her the best chance to relax, enjoy, and stay focused.

Here are a few ideas to consider the next time you run into that wall I call "Preschool Resistance"...

MAKE IT FAMILIAR. Draw on reference points your child already knows and likes (such as Caitlin's backyard toys). Familiar things will make her feel more secure while helping her project into the future to imagine what this new experience will be like.

EMPOWER WITH KNOWLEDGE. We never really know what's going on behind a child's reticence, so guiding and coaxing her from different angles often helps. For instance, providing simple, factual explanations for why things are the way they are (such as the cold preventing the snow from turning into rain) helps your child reason things through in her own way while giving her the confidence that comes with acquired knowledge. Of course, the trick here is to explain things in terms she's ready for. Knowing that Caitlin loves rainy days gave me another positive reference point to draw on. And while it's unlikely she fully understood the dynamic effects of temperature on precipitation, she now had the basis to compare snow with rain and a reason for the cold she said she didn't like.

ENTICE WITH ENCHANTMENT. Tapping the natural, motivational energy of your child's imagination is a great way to kick start just about anything, and especially trying new things. By wondering aloud what our snowman might look like, Caitlin's imagination was making it "real" in her mind before we even had our boots on. And notice I didn't describe the snowman to her. I simply wondered about it so she would wonder about it too. In so many ways, giving your child too many cues makes the idea more yours than hers, and let's face it, we all prefer our own ideas!

Bundled up and out the door, tune in tomorrow to find out...

Was it really too cold outside?

Will Gill ever get to make a snowman?

Who needs the beach when you've got snow?

Click here... THE SNOWS OF AUGUST, Part 2

SMART STEPS: WALK THE LINE!

2011-08-08T13:33:00.000-04:00

Have you ever noticed kids love lines? Not the kind you stand in or color outside of, but the kind you walk on. Cracks in the sidewalk, painted lines on the blacktop, stone walls, balance beams, ordinary ropes or garden hoses, and even the lines between floor tiles are magnets for little feet. And that's great, because the concentrated physical and cognitive effort it takes to "walk the line" (whether successful or not) is terrific for many different aspects of your child's early development including...

· Vestibular Development (balance)

· Midline Development (coordinated movement and thinking)

· Locomotion (different ways to get from here to there)

· Eye/Foot Coordination (connecting the brain, eyes, and feet for specific tasks)

And my favorite...

· Focus & Concentration (controlling the body AND brain to achieve a specific task over a period of time)

So while it might look a little strange to us, when kids find a line they like... let 'em walk it!

But after they Walk the Line a few times, then what?

A FEW THOUGHTS BEFORE WE GET STARTED…

1. FUN FIRST! Smart Steps celebrates the naturally playful, silly side of kids, so the first rule is IF IT’S FUN, DO IT. IF IT’S NOT, STOP!

2. DON’T RUSH. Repetition is great for kids so stick with each step for a while before jumping to the next step. (And, you don’t have to do these all in one session to get great benefits from the activity.)

3. AVOID FRUSTRATION. Try a few times and if your child is having difficulty, stop and go back a step. Frustration is never fun!

4. BE ENCOURAGING. Whether kids get the moves perfectly right or not is not the point. The idea here is to challenge them to move their bodies in ways they may never have before. Be encouraging and celebrate whatever happens, knowing that the more they try, the better they’ll get, even if the first time out is, well, a little goofy!

5. GO BAREFOOT. If conditions allow, do all of these barefoot. These activities focus children's attention on their feet. Shoes and socks get in the way of creating an optimal, sensory experience.

SMART STEPS 1 – WARM UP

WHAT TO DO

Find or draw a line on the ground, indoors or out. A crack in the sidewalk will do. If you don't have one of those, draw a line with chalk or lay down a ribbon, tape, rope or anything you have handy. Then, encourage your child to show you how she can walk and keep her feet on the line.

WHY DO IT

This little warm up gives your child a chance to get the feel for walking on the line while aligning her body and brain for the concentration needed for the various activities to follow.

WHAT TO LOOK FOR

Watch to see her body find its center. She'll likely bring her arms up like airplane wings and may miss the line quite a bit at first. That's OK. Children love a challenge and their bodies crave new kinds of movements, so precision is less important than trying.

Check to see where her eyes are focused. Some children may watch their feet all the way along while others may focus more on the line ahead. Either way is fine for these activities.

Also watch for how fast she goes. Many children will go fast at first. If that happens, encourage her to slow down by making a game of it... "That was great that you went so fast! I bet you can't walk the line really, really slowly."

Once she's done this a few times, offer a few other ideas for ways to Walk the Line. Remember to make a game of it each time, and follow her lead. She may surprise you with ideas she comes up with all on her own! Here are a few ideas to get you started...

· Straddle the line with one foot on either side and try not touch the line

· Walk backwards down the line

· Jump down the line

· Walk sideways to the right, then to the left

· Help your child draw a curvy line to walk on

· Help your child draw a line with sharp turns to walk on

SMART STEPS 2 - WIDE WALKING

WHAT TO DO

Create two lines in the shape of a "V", starting at the narrow point and going wide.

You may need to demonstrate this for your child. Show her how to walk on BOTH lines at once. With each step, the feet get further and further apart. Then turn around and come back, with the feet getting closer and closer together.

SPECIAL NOTE: HOW TO SUPPORT YOUR CHILD

At first this may not be easy for your child and she may need a little assistance. Your instinct may be to hold her hand as she tries, but if you do, this may throw off her balance even more by favoring one side over the other. Instead, get behind her and hold onto her shirt. This gives her a sense of support without interrupting her independent efforts for balance. If this still isn't enough, get in front of her and put your arm out for her to hold onto like a bar. (Again this gives her a sense of support while keeping you from instinctively compensating for her lack of balance.)

WHY DO IT

1. BALANCE. With each step, Wide Walking is a challenge to your child's balance and stability, requiring her to continually adjust her center of gravity.

2. EARLY MATHEMATICAL CONCEPTS. Young children need physical experiences with abstract concepts in order to make them real and understandable. Wide Walking, as simple as it seems, is actually a demonstrable experience with the concepts of more (>) and less (<), just like the actual mathematical symbols. As your child's feet get further and further apart (or closer and closer together), she is physically feeling the difference with each step. And it really helps if you narrate this activity, using language that describes the "more" and "less" concepts, such as... "Can you stretch your legs out a little MORE?" "Oh look how much LESS you have to stretch your legs out now." Repeat the words several times as she challenges the Wide Walking course to help associate or "tag" the language with the experience in her memory.

3. FOCUS & CONCENTRATION. Moving the feet in this unusual way challenges the body and brain to work together over the length of the course to stay "on line."

WHAT TO LOOK FOR

Watch to see how your child progresses. As she makes progress with her Wide Walking, add a little more challenge by giving her something to hold in her hands. This creates a new dynamic, challenging the brain and body to do two things at once. Start by holding the object in both hands, then switch to holding it in one hand then the other. This adds a new level of complexity and shifts her center of gravity just a bit to challenge to her balance to adjust.

And of course, when she's really good at it, trying doing it all again only backwards!

SMART STEPS 3 – CROCODILE IN THE WATER!

WHAT TO DO

Draw two parallel lines (or use rope, string, ribbon or tape) that are far enough apart for your child to be able to "walk" one line with her feet and the other with her hands. Then help your child draw a silly old crocodile in the center.

THE STORY

Rock the Croc sleeps all day in the river. But when he's awake, he loves to tickle fingers and toes! The only way to get past Rock is to stay on the banks of the river (the lines). Can you get down river without waking up Rock the Croc?

WHY DO IT

This game creates additional challenge and fun…

1. STRENGTH & BALANCE. Holding this "all fours" position gives the body and brain another new sensation of balance while building muscle strength.

2. MIDLINE DEVELOPMENT. Doing something different with the top half of the body from the bottom half helps develop full body coordination.

3. FOCUS & CONCENTRATION. Creating a little story line around the activity shifts the focus to the "mission" and adds incentive for accomplishing the task.

WHAT TO LOOK FOR

First, watch to see if your child can hold the position for a few seconds. If she's struggling, you can start this activity on the hands and knees.

Be sure to do this activity in both directions up and down the river bank.

Children accomplish this activity in a number of different ways so watch to see how your child manages her body. For instance, moving from right to left, she may move...

· Right Hand/Right Foot then Left Hand/Left Foot

· Right Hand/Left Hand then Right Foot/Left Foot

· Both Hands at once followed by Both Feet at once

· Taking several "steps" with her hands then several "steps" with her feet

· And so forth

However your child chooses to do this activity is fine. But once she's accomplished getting past Rock the Croc several times, suggest she try it in a different way.

Have fun! And remember, lines are free, fast, fun, and challenging playscapes for preschoolers, so be sure to give your child lots of opportunities to Walk the Line whichever way she wants!

Adapted for home use from the Moving Smart Smart Steps Preschool Playground Program. For more information on Moving Smart programs for schools, preschools, and child centers, go to www.movingsmart.co.nz, or email getmoving@movingsmart.co.nz.

DO YOU HAVE THE SECRET PASSWORD?

2011-07-25T20:17:00.000-04:00

Some months ago, I entered the on-line world of blogging, Twitter, Facebook, and most recently Pinterest, and have since found so many wonderful stories about playtime. It's heartening to see today's time-strapped parents taking such an active role in their children's play, and so many dedicated early childhood educators sharing their innovative ideas for play-based learning.

But one story in particular stood out for me the other day.

Amy (@babybabylemon) tweeted...

"Spencer has decided he has a "play button."

I push it and he runs around and goes crazy."

I laughed right out loud. Pure kid logic. It's these head-scratching, where-did-he-get-that-idea stories that continually reaffirm my belief in the inherent wisdom of a child's imagination, and of parents who, like Amy, instinctively honor and trust in that wisdom.

But more, this got me thinking about the eloquence of Spencer's invitation to play.

DO YOU KNOW THE SECRET PASSWORD?

Children's free playtime is precious, especially these days when kids are often on as tight a schedule as we are. Kids need time on their own or with their friends and siblings to play and explore as they see fit without parents, teachers, or caregivers getting in the way.

So when is the right time for parents to join in the fun?

Just like anyone else, according to the rules of play etiquette, it's best to wait to be invited in... to be given the "secret password." After all, nobody likes a pushy playmate (unless, of course, safety becomes an issue). And this rule especially applies to parents for one really important reason... you're bigger than he is. By kid standards, that makes you in charge (even on his most defiantly independent day).

But note, this doesn't mean that you shouldn't invite your child to play with you as well. It simply means that when he's enjoying his own free play experiences, you should honor and respect that time as his own.

PLAYING BY THE RULES

As you know, there are plenty of times in life when we are not in charge... school, work, sports, and so many other situations are governed by a set of pre-determined rules and explicit or implicit expectations. The one true place we can be ourselves is when we play, and that's especially important for little ones who spend the majority of their time abiding by other people's rules. During free play, your child needs to have control of what he's thinking, feeling, imagining, and doing. Intruding on that not only takes away the freedom to be himself, it runs the risk of making him feel his way of doing things is somehow lacking or in need of correcting... something he likely gets to a greater or lesser degree in all the structured, supervised parts of his day.

And yes, before you get the wrong idea, children do need structure and supervision in important matters such as academics, good manners, personal hygiene, etc. But when it comes to hosting a tea party, building a fort, making mud pies, donning a cape and cowl and chasing after the bad guys, or creating his own personal play button, that's pure kid turf and unless you've been given the secret password, KEEP OUT!

THE INVITATION

Your invitation to play may come in the form of a tug on your pant leg, a simple question, a "show me how" request, or those five silly words, "Please, press my play button." Whenever you sense that your child wants your attention, give it freely. A child's invitation to play is no small thing, and is issued only to his most trusted companions.

When the two of you make time for each other, he can feel comfortable to share his inner most self with you, and you with him. And that's where the big belly laughs, unbreakable bonds, and unforgettable family stories come from.

So once you've been invited, remember it's a "come as you are" party. Be yourself... not your mommy or daddy self, but you as playmate and friend to your child. No matter who issues the invitation, as we've said before in our post Parents Make the Best Playmates, your role is to follow wherever your child leads the play.

And when you do that, you're pushing all the right buttons.

Thank you, Amy and Spencer for inspiring me and giving me a play button of my very own. I promise, I will use it often!

THE PLAY BUTTON

Amy and Spencer shared a wonderful story of spontaneous, imagination-generated play. That kind of play might last an hour, a day, a week, or even longer. When your child invents something as fun and silly as making up his own play button, go with it and have fun with it too.

And if it does last a while, consider how to make even more of it to extend the fun a little longer, or maybe even add a little covert learning along the way. For instance, to expand on Spencer's original inspiration...

After you've played the original "Play Button" game for a while, you might wonder aloud...

"I wonder what would happen if I press the play button on your nose?"

Watch and see what happens. If he takes your cue, now he has two play buttons! If he doesn't, abandon the idea for now. In other words, don't push it (pun intended).

If he does allow your idea in, try another twist. For instance, you might want to add, "I wonder if I have a play button? I wonder where my play button would be?"

If the two of you get really good at the game, you could have all kinds of play buttons that you make up between the two of you. For instance...

My elbow is the "Super Speed" play button.

My nose is the "Go Backwards" play button.

My belly button is the "Jump" play button.

My big toe is the "Go Slow" button.

And of course, the top of my head is the "FREEZE" button.

And don't forget. Granny's got a play button too! (At least this one does!)

Please follow Amy's lemony adventures at...

Blog: http://babybabylemon.com/

Twitter: @babybabylemon

Facebook: Baby Baby Lemon on Facebook

Pinterest: Baby Baby Lemon on Pinterest

YOU CAN'T RUN UPHILL INDOORS

2011-06-29T07:58:00.001-04:00

I’ve read so many articles recently on the sad state of our children’s outdoor lives – what some call Nature Deficit Disorder -- that I've been wanting to put my two cents in as well. So here goes...

Most of the articles rightly make the argument that children need fresh air and sunshine for their good health, and an appreciation of nature for their well-rounded well-being. Parents know this intellectually. Kids know this intuitively. Researchers will back them both up. And I whole-heartedly agree with all of them. But beyond health and well-being, I think there are even more reasons why kids need to get outside and get to know nature personally...

KIDS NEED TO MOVE... A LOT

Kids need to move their bodies everyday in lots of ways and with as much freedom of choice as is safe and practical to allow in order to develop both their bodies and their brains. To that end...

MORE movement is possible outdoors than in. Just is.

See if this sounds familiar. Don’t run in the house... don’t make a mess in the house... don’t roughhouse in the house... all reasonable restrictions parents have always placed on their children’s indoor play. After all, parents live here too. Years ago, the solution was simple. Shoo the kids outside. But that’s not the case any more.

Today, parents seem afraid to let children go outdoors. Whether it's stranger danger, potential skinned knees, the thinning ozone layer or whatever the reason, loving and protective parents are keeping their kids close.. and often indoors.

Now, I’m not here to tell any parent what’s right or wrong about their parenting decisions. But I am here to plead the case for your child’s need to move... a lot... which requires the kinds of large, open and varied expanses only the outdoors can accommodate. For instance, running as fast as you possibly can can't be done indoors. Neither can running uphill or down, in the tall grass or the sand, through a summer shower or over an icy slope. Yet it's these exact kinds of diverse conditions young children need to build their bodies, challenge their abilities, and develop self-assurance. If your child can't get outside to play as often as he needs and wants to, in my view, it's unlikely he'll be stretching himself to his fullest potential.

GROWING AN ENVIRONMENTALIST

Some futurists predict the single, greatest challenge our children's generation will face is the environment -- climate change, alternative energy sources, clean air, clean water, fresh food supplies and the like.

But if the futurists are correct, it’s hard to imagine how this next generation is going to save the environment if they haven’t actually spent much time in it. Children need to build up their knowledge and familiarity with nature in order to develop respect for it. And respect, along with resourcefulness, is what our planet is going to need from our children. So I say, best to start early.

DISCOVERY

And once they do get outside, there it is... nature's endless treasure hunt of things large and small to fascinate the curious, inspire the imaginative, and humble us all. Like a small child, nature never stops growing and changing. And like a great teacher, nature always has something new to share. Excitement-hungry kids never tire of nature because nature always has another mystery up her sleeve.

NO SUBSTITUTE

Arguably, the biggest competitor nature has for children’s time and attention is technology. TVs, computers, smart phones and the like are compelling to the point of compulsive. Images flashing furiously across the screen set to pulse-pounding soundtracks feel rich and full.

But even when the content is educational in intent, it's no substitute for the real thing... for seeing nature in the flesh, hearing it, touching it, smelling it, tasting it, running through it, around it, on it, over it, and getting dirty in it.

No screen – not even those that mimic 3D vision – can ever provide the sensory experiences, physical clarity, and emotional enlightenment nature provides free of charge every day.

AND IF YOU’RE STILL NOT CONVINCED...

Think of this. If you've printed out this blog, you’re holding a tree in your hand. If you’re reading this on a screen, you’re holding a dinosaur fossil.

Everything comes from nature. Including us. And we'd all do well to step outside and remember that.

MEET MUDDO, THE MUDDOSAURUS!

Thanks to the Nature Action Collaborative for Children and World Forum Foundation for creating International Mud Day! And in honor of the occasion I thought you all might enjoy meeting a mysteriously, muddy creature known as the Muddosaurus. Muddo, as I call him, lives in my garden and loves mud. But he's very, very shy and I've actually never seen him. Know how I know he's there? Because each time it rains, he comes out to play and leaves his footprints in the mud for me to find. I sure would like to meet Muddo someday...

THE GAME

I wonder how we might coax shy Muddo to come out and play with us today? What if we left our muddy footprints in the mud for Muddo to find?

UNDERSTANDING TIME & SPACE... LEAVING YOUR MARK

Footprints fascinate little ones. The idea that they have left their imprint on the land not only makes them feel powerful and important, it also introduces the abstract concepts of time and space. A hand or footprint left behind is a tangible sign "I was there" and now "I'm over here."

DIFFFERENT WAYS TO PLAY

Any amount of mud will do, however, if you're squeamish, you can also play in wet sand in the sandbox or at the beach.

If you don't have sand or mud handy, dust the patio or driveway with flour which makes a great canvas for imprints.

If you're in colder climates, play the winter version with Muddo's cousin, Snowasaurus!

And of course, anytime you're indoors, a tub or two of Play-Doh, makes this a great tabletop finger game.

INTRODUCING THE GAME

If this is a first-mud experience for your child, start by showing him how to leave a footprint in the mud. Have him clomp around and makes lots of mud prints, and notice how he watches to see the marks he's left behind. (For first-timers, this may be enough. But if your child wants more, then continue.)

MEET MUDDO

Tell the story of the mysterious Muddosaurus who loves leaving his footprints in the mud. But he's really shy and doesn't come out to play unless there's a friend around. Muddo might come out to play if we make Muddo footprints for him to follow.

1. Encourage your child to show you what Muddo's footprints look like...

I wonder how big Muddo's feet are?

I wonder how many toes Muddo has?

I wonder how many feet Muddo has?

I wonder where Muddo would like to go today? Should we make him a path?

2. Now, if you're really adventurous, take the next muddy step...

I wonder what Muddo's hands are like? What would it look like if Muddo put his hands in the mud?

Maybe Muddo would come out to play if we drew a picture for him in the mud.

3. And finally, and certainly not for the faint of heart...

I wonder what it feels like to be a Muddosaurus who rolls in the mud!

And just remember this. For generations and generations, soap and water has never failed to conquer any amount of mud a kid can get into!

Enjoy!

P.S. And if you're lucky enough to catch a glimpse of Muddo, snap a picture and send it to me.

For more information on International Mud Day go to...

http://worldforumfoundation.org/wf/wp/initiatives/nature-action-collaborative-for-children/international-mud-day-2011

MOMMY, I'M BORED!

2011-06-20T01:40:00.001-04:00

“Boredom is a blessing,” I always say. Of course, when my kids were young they groaned when I said that because they were looking for me to provide a ready-made solution. But as I saw it then and am even more convinced now, constantly rescuing a child from the clutches of boredom is not a good idea. I looked at it this way...

Stuck in a tree? I'm right there for you.

Stuck on a homework problem? No problem. How can I help?
Stuck with nothing to do? Over to you, kid.

Now, if you're thinking that sounds harsh, please keep reading. If you agree with me, jump to the bottom of this post for a few additional thoughts you might find of interest on those inevitable, "Mommy, I'm borrrrred" days.

THE BENEFITS OF BOREDOM

Boredom is not a life-threatening disorder, nor the end of the world. In fact, quite the opposite. Boredom can be the beginning of a whole, new, eye-opening world for children...

DISCOVERY & ADVENTURE. An essential gateway to discovery-rich, life-enhancing, imagination-generated possibilities.

HANDS-ON CHARACTER-BUILDING. A perfect, kid-sized opportunity to fend for herself, building the underlying self-awareness, confidence, and resilience necessary to develop self-reliance.

CREATION & ORIGINATION. An opportunity to invent something entirely of her own making, which is often the best way to learn about the world and (even more important) to learn about herself. Without a prescribed activity or set of instructions, a child is forced to experiment and find her own way of doing things. Fascinating, passionate pursuits are often born out of these experiments. And when a child really cares about what she's doing, she'll stick to it longer and learn more from it.

So with all that at stake, I say, let 'em be bored!

But when?

THE OVER-SCHEDULED CHILD

Much has been written in recent years about the over-scheduled lives of our children, and the potential negative effects. Insufficient "downtime" can impose unnecessary stress on little ones, precipitate early achievement-fatigue, and rob them of the time they naturally need (and they need lots) to discover, explore, think, imagine and create on their own.

Making more time in your child's day for free play -- including boredom -- is the easy and obvious antidote to this dilemma. But here's the thing. When our modern mindset is to "make" free time, is it really free?

I fear the biggest danger lurking behind the unyielding calendar of drop-offs and pick-ups is a false lesson in the value of time -- that time is measured in how much you cram into it rather than how much you get out of it.

"MOMMY, I'M BORRRRRED!"

A child has no patience for doing nothing, and in the absence of someone serving her up a ready-made solution, she will dig into her imagination and discover her own ingenuity. But in order for this to happen, you have to trust your child and trust in the power of boredom.

So, to help you navigate the murky waters of "Mommy, I'm borrrrred," here are a few "Disboredoment Strategies" I've found useful over the years...

"DISBOREDOMENT" STRATEGIES

1. DON'T SOLVE IT. When your child whines about being bored, deflect it. Always show understanding and sympathy for her nothing-to-do plight so that she knows you care about her and her feelings, but offer no solutions. Instead, deflect the question back...

"What do you think you'd like to do today?"

"What did you do the last time you had nothing to do?"

Sometimes all she'll need is to talk about it and then she'll find her own solution. Other times not. If she's still complaining, sketch out some broad alternatives...

Suggest a change of scenary: "What about playing outside in the yard?"

Suggest a different prop: "What about finding a toy you haven't played with in a while?"

Suggest a type of activity: "What about making something? What would you like to make?"

Notice how these questions are still open-ended, requiring your child to find the specific answers for herself. And try not to lead her one way or another. A critical part of the growth and development she'll get from free play is in deciding what to play.

And, I think it's obvious, but I'll say it anyway. Television, computers, and video games are part of the problem and NEVER the solution. Kids learn nothing of value by watching others do things.

2. DON'T JUMP IN. Free time should be as uninterrupted and unsupervised as possible (unless safety is an issue, of course). That means you need to stay out of it. A child's free time, alone or with siblings/playmates, should be hers to do with it what she wants.

That said, if your child asks for your time to play, you should give it freely whenever you can. Invitations to play are important for building strong bonds between you. However, if your child is turning to you to be her playmate all the time, you should be careful to help her strike a balance. It's essential she learn to play alone, even if that means putting up with a lot of "Mommy, I'm borrrrred" whining for a while.

3. VALUE HER CHOICES. No matter what she chooses to do with her "nothing to do" time, be sure to acknowledge her choices, show interest in her discoveries, encourage her curiosity and persistence, and project forward, asking her what she's going to do next.

Make note of what she tells you and watch for continued interest in the subject. For instance, if she chooses to create a dinosaur pit in the backyard, watch to see how long she pursues it. If it lasts for more than a few days, you might want to suggest a trip to the library for some dinosaurs books.

So the next time you hear, "Mommy, I'm borrrrred," remember. This is your signal to do nothing. And I think we can all agree, moms deserve some nothing-to-do time too!

A DAY LIKE NO OTHER

2011-06-09T13:09:00.000-04:00

Every once in a while, a perfect day comes along. And what makes it perfect is you know it while you're in it.

That was yesterday.

Sipping tea by the window,

Seemed an ordinary start,

To a day like no other,

Sure to live in my heart.

To be born on this day,

On a day like no other,

A grandson, a nephew,

A new baby brother.

My oldest is Mummy,

To my Princess of Joy.

And hours from now,

A new baby boy.

Will she be alright? Will he be OK?

I worry a worry in my moms-only way.

The house is now stirring,

They're up from their beds,

The silence retreats.

The giggling spreads.

Big sister-to-be,

And her Auntie Lu,

Already at play,

So pure and so true.

Today is the day,

Bob the Builder arrives!

The two year old cheers,

Awaiting her prize!

But wait we must do. We must wait, wait, wait, wait.

What to do when you're two, and the waiting has weight?

Cupcakes. Yes, cupcakes!

That's what we'll do!

But we're all out of purple,

So let's make them blue.

But cupcakes alone,

Don't seem quite enough.

A cake and a card,

Now that's the right stuff.

We mixed up the cupcakes

And licked the big spoon.

Then right to the oven,

They'll be ready soon.

Now the paints and the paper to make his first card.

(Are they forgetting that waiting is hard?)

Next, the blue icing.

The two year old grins.

Aunt Lu Lu has sprinkles,

All over her chin.

At last, we are ready.

Nothing's left to be done.

When the message arrives...

My girl has a son.

A granny, an auntie,

And a brand new big sister,

Jump up and down,

And twist like a twister!

My girl is alright. Her boy is OK.

The tears wash my moms-only worries away.

For born on this day,

A day like no other,

A grandson, a nephew,

A new baby brother.

Welcome, Jacob. Want a cupcake?

Love,

Granny Gill, Auntie Lu Lu, and Big Sister Caitlin

RESPECT THE MESS!

2011-06-07T22:52:00.017-04:00

Much has been written about the benefits of Messy Play. It is great sensory stimulation for young minds discovering a hands-on world, and it develops strength and fine motor coordination in those curious little fingers. And that's all great, except for one thing. There's more to it than that.

Now, most parents intuitively understand that kids come with a certain amount of mess and adopt a quiet, tolerance towards it. But when you've got the mop out taking care of your end of Messy Play for the third time today, it can be frustrating. So I thought it might be helpful for you to understand just why all that mess is so important, in hopes of bolstering your Messy Play resolve.

So let's start with some basics...

WHAT IS MESSY PLAY?

The traditional definition of Messy Play refers to different kinds of sensory materials that children use with their hands. The list looks something like this...

WET/VISCOUS

Mud

Slime

Play-Doh

Clay

Glue

Fingerpaints

Foam

Fun Foods like Jellies, Jams, Peanut Butter, Jello, etc.

Snow

Soap, Bubble Bath, Bath Foams, etc.

Water

DRY/TEXTURED

Sand

Dirt

Glitter

Markers

Crayons

Dry Baking Ingredients such as Flour, Sugar, Grains, Oats, etc.

And on and on.

Pretty much Messy Play materials are anything that can and will travel to places wholly unrelated to the designated play space and often show up weeks later despite the most vigorous and vigilant clean up.

However, my definition of Messy Play is a little different.

And a lot messier...

MORE MESS IS BETTER MESS

Tactile, sensory experiences with materials like these are so vital to your child's developing brain, why stop at the wrist? In fact, I recommend WHOLE-BODY MESSY PLAY whenever possible.

You see, as we've discussed in previous blogs, the brain learns from the experiences the body provides. Sensory stimulation is the key to early learning, helping the brain craft its own unique picture (and judgments) about our world. When your child is fully immersed head to toe (or at least elbow-deep), sensory receptors in the skin are complimenting all of her other senses in developing that "full picture" the brain needs, while giving her a better sense of herself as well.

And while the mess is molding your child's brain, it's doing a whole lot more too...

FINE MOTOR MESSINESS

Back to the hands for a moment. Think about the last time you had a blob of Play-Doh in your hands. Chances are you couldn't put it down -- squeezing it, shaping it, poking holes in it, pressing it through your fingers, etc. The very nature of Messy Play is a call to action for the fingers, working the tiny muscles to build strength, endurance, and coordinated movements. This, in combination with core and upper body development, is where young hands form the ability to carefully manipulate a crayon, a pencil, pen, keyboard, piano keys, guitar strings, slide rules, etc.

CLEANLINESS IS NEXT TO MESSINESS

What does clean feel like? As an adult, my guess is that you would describe it something like this. Let's use the hands again as an example...

"Clean is when my hands don't feel sticky, gooey, gravelly or chalky... when there is no dirt or stains on my skin or under my fingernails... when my hands don't smell of anything other than soap or lotion... when I feel comfortable touching something precious (or white) or shaking someone's hand." In other words, clean is what's NOT messy.

So consider this. How can your child be expected to understand clean if she doesn't have meaningful experiences with messy?

MESSY MANIA

Now, this is where parents get really nervous. "Messy" is one thing. But put it in the same sentence with "Mania" and that's where most will draw the line. But if you know the old saying, "In for a penny, in for a pound" you know what I'm talking about. Getting messy is like a license to get even messier. And when "messier" happens, something else kicks in. The exuberant freedom Messy Mania provides from the everyday expectations of conformity and neatness is a great emotional release for children.

But more, within these playful confines, children learn an important life lesson about what it feels like to go too far. And while I realize that may sound a bit scary to parents too, your child needs to explore all of her boundaries -- even, and maybe especially, the messy ones. You see, playing with those boundaries with things like mud in your hair or sand in your shoes or snow down your back gives children tangible, physical experiences with the idea of "too far" that they will be able to apply to other, more important situations down the road.

And for the clean up crew, let's be honest. There comes a point where there's pretty much no difference between "messy" and "messier."

THE POWER OF MESS

The ability to effect change is one of the most important learning experiences for your young child. When she discovers she can make a difference -- large or small, accidental or deliberate, neat or messy -- she is awakening to the idea that she has the power to do things herself. And Messy Play is a dramatic expression of that power because she's seeing big changes of her own making as she physically transforms herself and the space around her.

I'll admit, the mess at the end of your mop is no fun for you. But remember, it's a mountain full of skill and confidence building for your little one.

THE AFTER MESS

Which brings me to the last, and perhaps most important benefit of Messy Play. When your child observes or participates in the clean up she is learning from you how important it is to respect her environment. By seeing the transformation from messy back to neat, she is learning that she is part of something bigger than herself -- your family -- and she's right at home where she belongs... AFTER she takes a bath!

DON'T TAKE A BATH, TALK A BATH!

Messy Play extends right into the bathtub! Soap suds and bath foams, gels, and creams offer great, whole body, Messy Play sensory experiences too. Now add one more element, and you can turn bath time into learning time.

My daughter and son-in-law have been playing this bath time game with my granddaughter since she was an infant. Now at age two, she already has a sense of left from right, and demonstrates good body awareness.

The key to this simple, "Talk A Bath" activity is consistency. Each night as you're washing your child in the bath, talk to her about the different parts of her body. Be specific, and associate what you're saying with what she's feeling as you use the soap and bath cloths to get her clean. For instance...

RUB-A-DUB-DUB

"This is your right elbow. Let's get it nice and clean."

"And your right elbow is part of your right arm."

"At the end of your right arm is your right hand."

"Look, you have five fingers... one, two, three, four, five!"
And so on.

TOWELING OFF

Repeat the game when you're drying off with a nice, warm towel. This gives her a different sensory experience associated with the words you're using to describe her body.

PAJAMA TIME

And when she's getting her pajamas on, play the game one more time. The soft fabric of her pajamas gives her another different physical sensation as you reinforce body awareness with your words.

And of course, as she begins to develop her vocabulary, encourage her to join in the game as well!

P.S. For great ideas to inspire your Messy Play days, please hop over to our friends at...
Hands On As We Grow, Let the Children Play, and The Imagintion Tree

THE IMPATIENT ZONE

2011-05-23T10:33:00.000-04:00

"Are we there yet?," the backseat asks.

Uh oh.

"In a little while," you answer, hoping against hope that this will satisfy her. But like every parent, you already know what's coming... the fidgeting, the fussing, the fooling around, and the falling apart.

You have just entered The Impatient Zone.

WHY ARE KIDS IMPATIENT?

Now, before you allow this to become a test of your patience, know this...

Kids are impatient because "now" is all they know.

You see, without a lot life experience and nascent memory skills, little ones have no real sense of the concept of "past." Without understanding "past" there is no understanding of the more complex concept of "future." Without "future," there is no understanding of waiting. And it's the waiting part that takes patience.

For young children time isn't real because it's not tangible. They can't see it, hear it, taste it, smell it, or touch it. For instance, ask any two year old what she did yesterday and chances are you'll get a blank stare. Ask her if she went to the circus yesterday, and she'll tell you all about it. She remembers the circus. She simply doesn't understand that it happened yesterday.

For time-strapped parents, it's hard to imagine the very thing that rules every minute of your day can be so illusive - so NOT-real - to your child. So let's talk about how time comes into focus for little ones...

HOW KIDS LEARN ABOUT TIME

MAKING IT REAL. Kids learn about time by moving through it. At first it may be noticing the difference between day and night -- light and dark. Next, she may begin to associate time with routine, everyday things. For instance, breakfast, lunch, and dinner are regular, time-based events that make time tangible for her.

LEARNING SEQUENCE. Next comes the idea of the passage of time when she begins to grasp "before" and "after." Putting on your socks before you put on your shoes is the very beginning of sequencing, which will later unlock abstract concepts such as "past" and "future."

TIME MEASUREMENT. Actual increments of time -- seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, etc. -- are far more sophisticated concepts that will come to her with experience and language acquisition... dare I say it... over time.

TELLING TIME. And finally, the ability to read the clock will emerge as she begins to recognize and understand numbers and number sequencing, and relating those numbers to the time-based events in her life.

TALKING TIME

Like so many things in a young child's life, time concepts unfold naturally through everyday experiences and the words she hears from you. So choosing your words about time is important. After all, what does "in a minute" mean to a little one who doesn't yet understand how long a minute actually is.

Here are some of the time-based words we use casually in everyday conversation. Try to imagine what these actually mean to your child...

Soon • as soon as • shortly • almost • just about • not long • later • in a second • in a moment • in a minute • in five minutes • in a while • just a minute • not now • until • not until • before • during • while • after • yesterday • today • tomorrow • next week • next month • last week • last month • since • once • never.

Is there any wonder they get impatient?

To help your child get an understanding of time, she has to get a "feel" for it. And one of the things you can do to help that process is to make sure you're saying what you mean. Use time language that is specific, contextual, and descriptive. A few examples...

"I'LL PLAY SOON."

Choose a specific time then set an egg timer, explaining that when it rings, it will be time to play.

"I'LL PLAY LATER."

If you can't be specific, put time in context, such as, "I'll play later, after dinner."

"I'LL PLAY TOMORROW."

When you're not sure your child will understand an abstract time concept, describe it, such as, "After we wake up in the morning, it will be tomorrow and then I'll play with you."

Now, I can't promise you that precision language will keep you out of The Impatient Zone entirely. But a little clarity and lot of patience and understanding on your part may make those trips through "The Zone" easier to navigate.

TIME PROMISES

And one last note. When you say you'll be there "in a minute," be there in a minute. If you show up 10 minutes later, you run the risk of confusing her. She may begin to sense that one minute is 10 times longer than it actually is.

But even more, when you show up when you say you will, you're teaching her the importance of keeping your word.
And on that subject, every minute counts.

MINUTE MOVES!

SET UP. If you don't have one, I strongly suggest going out and buying an egg timer. Setting the timer and hearing it ring is great sensory reinforcement of time concepts. Alternatively, many smart phones have timer apps already installed, or you could find a few short, one-minute songs your child loves, using them as the timer for these games.

TO PLAY. Set the timer for one minute (or whatever time increment you believe your child can manage), then go have fun! Use the following list as your starting point, then make up your own Minute Moves! But be sure not to make these games competitive. The idea here is to have your child understand what time feels like by playing and moving through time. Enjoy!

How far can you run in a minute?

How much sand can you scoop in your bucket in a minute?

How many times can your roll over in a minute?

How many blocks can you stack in a minute?

Can you hang from the monkeybars for a minute?

Can you wiggle your toes for a minute?

Can you bounce a ball for a minute?

Can you stay still for a minute?

Can you brush your teeth for a minute?

How many kisses can you give mommy in a minute?

"M" IS FOR MONKEYBARS: Getting Ready for Writing

2011-05-09T10:21:00.001-04:00

A child's hand is a powerful tool for learning. With his hands he can control the world around him, build and create all that he can imagine, and express himself, first in gestures, then with scribbles, and eventually, with the written word.

Parents know the importance of fine motor control -- especially when it comes to handwriting -- which is probably why I'm frequently asked for advice on this subject. Here's what I say...

Put your pencils down and go play on the monkeybars.

NATURAL ORDER OF THINGS

Children's muscle control and coordination is developed in a natural, orderly way -- from the top down and from the inside out -- starting at the head and working towards the toes while building out from the torso to the limbs. This order of priority, established by the brain, insures that the large muscles necessary for coordination and locomotion (getting from here to there) are well organized and in control, before taking on the complex mastery of the more than 60 combined muscles in the hands (let alone the dozens of bones, hundreds of ligaments and tendons, etc., etc.)

So you see, on the developmental totem pole, the hands come last.

WHAT IS FINE MOTOR DEVELOPMENT?

Now, that doesn't mean that your child's hands aren't active as he's growing. Young hands begin with simple, reflexive, whole-hand grasping. Over time, early reflexes integrate and the pincer grip kicks in, allowing him to use his forefinger and thumb together in unison. Each day, you'll see more and more deliberate hand and finger movements. But that's not fine motor skills -- not yet.

Fine Motor Skills are the highly precise motor control necessary to bring all five fingers together to do detailed work requiring minute, almost imperceptible movements, such as using a pencil to write your name.

But writing your name isn't all in the wrist, so to speak. In fact, it involves much of the whole body...

IN ORDER TO WRITE MY NAME...

1. The upper body must be strong enough to hold the body in an upright standing or sitting position.

2. The shoulders muscles must be strong enough to control the weight of the arm, and flexible enough to rotate freely to position the arm for writing.

3. The upper arm holds the weight of the lower arm and hand, delivering the hand to the page.

4. The lower arm provides a sturdy fulcrum on which the wrist rotates.

5. The wrist holds the hand steady and rotates to the appropriate position.

6. The fingers fold around the pencil which is held in place by the thumb.

7. Together, all five fingers do a precision dance on the page: a. placing the pencil at the exact angle to meet the page, b. pressing down and maintaining the right amount of pressure to leave the imprint, and c. coordinating the tiny up, down, left, and right movements across the page.

If any of those muscles in that chain of events don't do their job, writing his name will be a very hard thing to do.

Which brings us full circle back to the monkeybars...

PLAYING "WRITE"

Climbing, hanging, swinging, and any other high-energy activities that build strength in his upper body and core muscles are vital precursors to fine motor skills.

Twisting, turning, dangling, and swinging helps develop the flexibility and agility necessary for rotating the shoulders, elbows, wrists, and fingers.

Pushing, pulling, tugging, and lifting himself up builds strength while developing an intuitive understanding of simple physics such as weight, pressure, and resistance.

And when he comes off the monkeybars, messy play is ideal for building up strength and dexterity in the hand muscles. Play-Doh, sand and water play, mud (yes, mud!), and any other tactile play is great sensory experience for the brain and hands which one day may mean neater handwriting!

So remember. When it comes to getting ready for writing, "M" is for Monkeybars!

Sometimes, it's just not possible to make it over to the playground for a turn on the monkeybars, so here are a couple of my favorites you can do at home to build upper body and core strength while the hands "wait their turn" in the developmental chain of events.

WHEELBARROWING

Wheelbarrowing around the playroom or out in the backyard is great for building up arm strength (in between the giggling, of course.) Importantly, I recommend holding your child at the hips rather than by the feet. This prevents an unnatural bow in the back, while lightening the load on those little arms.

CRAB WALKING

Kids love this and you'll be amazed how far they can go with a little practice. Sit on the floor and raise up your seat using your hands and feet. Then crab - crab - crab along as far as you can go. Have kids go forwards and backwards too!

CATERPILLAR WALKING
See how slow you can go, inching along like a caterpillar! Walk your hands out in front of you, then walk your feet up to your hands.

TOO PREGNANT TO PLAY!

2011-05-03T10:29:00.000-04:00

For my first born and her first born. Butterfly kisses to you both...

As I always say, playing WITH your child is the best thing you can do FOR your child. But there are times even moms get too tired to play.

Right now, my daughter is eight months pregnant with her second child, and while she loves playing with Caitlin every chance she gets, over the past few weeks, it's been getting tougher and tougher to keep up with all that two-year-old energy!

So, for all those second, third, or more-timer moms out there juggling life with a preschooler and another on the way, here are a few ideas to keep you P.W.P. (Playing While Pregnant), while you're getting a well-deserved rest on the couch!

10 Great Ideas for Keeping the Fun Moving with Your Playful Preschooler When You're Just Too Pregnant to Play!

1. SNUGGLEHUNT. My mom did this with me and it was always one of my favorites... Snuggle up with your preschooler and slowly, gently, draw a letter on her back with your finger, calling out the letter as you draw. And draw it large so it covers her whole back, giving her a big physical sensation of what the letter feels like.

Then it's off on a hunt to find something around the house that matches that letter. (Note: if your child is too young for this part, you can either skip it or give her clues to what to look for. "Your favorite toy (doll) begins with the letter D. Where do you suppose it is?")

2. TOE TO TOE TALES. Put your feet up on the couch and have your child sit opposite you, putting her feet up against yours. (Now, there's a little known fact about feet, but when they're toe-to-toe with other feet, they start to TALK!)

So, I wonder what your feet have to say? Where do your feet like to go? I wonder if they like kicking a ball or running or tiptoeing or taking baths? Hmmm. I wonder...

Kick start the storytelling and then let her imagination sweep you both right off your feet!

3. STACKING TUMMY. Have your child go get their favorite blocks or a tub of Play-Doh. Lie down on the couch and use your tummy as a platform for building the tallest tower in the world! (And remember, babies like to play too, so be careful he doesn't kick it over!)

4. TUMMY ART. Ask your child to paint a picture for the new baby... on your belly! OK. I know this sounds silly, but this is a great way for your child to participate in your pregnancy and get to know the new baby in her own, imaginative way. After all, painting a picture for the baby is a gift only your preschooler can give.

Get a face painting kit and have it on hand for that day when you're just too tired to do anything but become a canvas for your child's creativity!

If you want to know more, here's an article on Belly Painting from sheknows.com. It provides ideas, resources and even a recipe for home-made belly paint.

http://pregnancyandbaby.sheknows.com/pregnancy/baby/Belly-painting--Art-on-board-1627.htm

5. WHAT DID THE BEAR SEE? Children love to go on safari, so have your child take a trip with her favorite teddy bear while you both sing the classic The Bear Went Over the Mountain. Have her go see what she can see by slowly walking her teddy bear over all the mountains in the room, like the chairs, the coffee table, and yes, right over to you and your little "mountain."

Singing the lyrics while playing "over the mountain" reinforces the concept of "over" while play acting the role of this intrepid, and very observant little explorer bear!

THE BEAR WENT OVER THE MOUNTAIN

Classic Children's Song (sung to the tune of For He's A Jolly Good Fellow)

Author Unknown

The bear went over the mountain,

To see what he could see

To see what he could see,

To see what he could see

The other side of the mountain,

Was all that he could see

Was all that he could see,

The other side of the mountain,

Was all that he could see!

6. LIGHT FEVER! Dim the lights, turn on your flashlight, and have your child chase the lights around the room! Dancing to moving lights is great for kids' rhythm, timing, and a whole lot of "huff 'n puff" fun!

7. WE'RE GOING TO THE CIRCUS! Kids love to put on shows for you, so today, we're going to the circus! The monkeys are my favorite act!

1. Hanging upside down from the trapeze (the couch)

2. Walking the tightrope (line on the floor)

3. Juggling scarves or beanbags (throw them up in the air for an indoor game of catch)

4. Phew! It's time for intermission. Where's the popcorn?

8. ZOOKEEPER FREEZE! It's a really cold day at the zoo -- too cold for the zookeeper (you) to go visit the animals. So the animals (your child) decide to go visit the zookeeper. Suggest that your child move like her favorite animals, but watch out! It's about to snow. When the snow flies, holler out FREEZE! and see the funny poses those silly animals get themselves into!

Animal pretend play requires moving your body in new (and silly!) ways, while giving preschoolers a chance to work on social skill foundations by working out what it feels what it's like to be somebody else.

9. SNACK SURPRISES. Grab some healthy snacks from the kitchen and hide them in a bag. Start the game by having your child reach in and FEEL the snacks, guessing at what she's feeling. Then, have her close her eyes. Take one snack out of the bag and have her SMELL it to see if she can tell what it is. Then, it's time for the TASTE surprise! Yummy!

By letting little ones explore foods with all of their senses, they may be more willing to taste and try new foods.

10. BABY BELLY BUTTERFLY KISSES. This is my granddaughter's favorite! Give your child a "kiss" by fluttering your eyelashes on her cheek. The gentle, fluttering sensation tickles ever so slightly, while bringing the two of you close together for a giggle!

Then, to help your preschooler practice being gentle with the new baby, have her give the baby butterfly kisses all over your belly!

After all, I think all three of you deserve kisses for a day well played!

Rest well. And keep up the play!

BAREFOOTIN'

2011-04-22T09:30:00.002-04:00

In a world seemingly obsessed with carefulness these days, one of the things I fear is getting lost is the joy of going barefoot, and along with it all the benefits. For little ones, getting and staying in touch with their feet is important. Here's why...

Five Great Reasons to Go Barefoot!

1. BODY MAPPING. Babies aren't born with a sense of their own body, and in fact, don't even realize they have hands and feet for a while. The way they find out is through feeling them, tasting them, and putting them to good (and mischievous!) use. Little ones who have their feet stuffed into footed onesies, slippers, socks, and/or shoes, all day and night run the risk of never truly getting to know their toes.

2. STRENGTH. Feet have a big job everyday holding our weight. Wearing shoes and socks provides support but also takes some of the responsibility off of the muscles in the feet. Going barefoot is the most natural way to keep feet in tip-top shape!

3. ADAPTABILITY. When I was a kid, I couldn't wait for summer to run barefoot outdoors (as every kid did out in the country where we lived). But those first days were always a little hard on the feet. Softened up by the padding of socks, shoes, and indoor carpeting all winter, our feet had to toughen up. It hurt a little, but it was so worth it! Not only does going barefoot give kids a great sense of personal freedom, it teaches them a fundamental principle of independence -- how to adapt to different situations -- even the rocky ones. (Of course, city kids have it different I realize, so find a park if you can. And remember, going barefoot around the house has many of the same benefits.)

4. CONFIDENCE. When children feel their steps directly, they are much better able to understand the intricacies of even the trickiest terrain and navigate it more adeptly. This is true for flat surfaces as well as inclines. Indeed, shoes tend to slip when children climb on playground equipment, while feet are naturally designed to provide sensitive traction, and toes flex to give us better grip.

5. CONNECTEDNESS. Feet are our connection to the earth. They are where we meet gravity. Which makes me wonder. Could our modern image of ourselves be upside down? What would the world be like if we believed we begin in our feet and end in our minds?

In gratitude to Mum and Dad for all those well-grounded, barefooted, gone fishin' summers.

Take my word for it. Go to ITunes and download the 1966 hit song Barefootin' by Robert Taylor. Then throw off those socks and shoes and show everybody what dancin' feet can do!

BAREFOOTIN'

By Robert Parker

Nola Records, 1966

Everybody get on your feet.

You make me nervous when you in your seat,

Take off your shoes and pat your feet,

We're doin a dance that can't be beat!   

We're barefootin', We're barefootin',   

Went to a party the other night,   

Long Tall Sally was out of sight   

Threw way her wig, and her high sneakers too,   

She was doin a dance without any shoes   

She was barefootin', She was barefootin',   

Hey little gal with the red dress on,   

I bet you can barefoot all night long   

Take off your shoes and throw them away,   

Come back and get them another day   

We're barefootin', We're barefootin',   

Lil John Henry he said to Sue,   

If I was barefootin' would you barefoot too   

Sue told John, "I'm thirty two,   

I was barefootin ever since I was two   

They was barefootin', they was barefootin'   

They was barefootin'', we barefootin'   

We barefootin' we barefootin'   

We don't have no shoes on 

LEARNING TO "SENSE" SPACE: Why Kids May Fall Out of Bed

2011-04-12T11:13:00.001-04:00

With Caitlin’s new baby brother arriving in just a few months, her parents are now getting the baby’s room ready. While I was admiring his new room, we talked about moving Caitlin into her first "big girl bed." Of course, they were worried that she may fall out a few times before she gets used to her new space.

So the question came up, "Is there a “right” time -- developmentally speaking -- to move children out of the crib and into a bed of their own?"

Now, of course, the answer depends on the child as it always does, but I thought it might be interesting to discuss how children learn NOT to fall out of bed. It has to do with their relationship with space, which is managed by the Proprioceptive Sense.

LEARNING ABOUT SPACE

First, a child's sense of space -- known as spatial awareness -- is acquired through lots of trial and error with the wide-awake world around her. As she moves through different size spaces and learns to negotiate objects and obstacles around her, she is learning to map her own body - to know her own size and shape.

With enough practice, that "body map" will become intuitive, even to the point of "knowing" where she is while she's sleeping. Here's how it works...

SENSING SPACE INTUITIVELY

The human body has sensory touch receptors in every muscle, tendon and ligament known as proprioceptive receptors which provide the brain with important information about the dynamics of the world around us, including where the body or parts of the body are in space at any given time.

Now, for adults, a familiar space such as your own bed has been carefully mapped by your proprioceptive sensors, so you are able to sleep without having to worry about falling out. You "know" how wide your bed is, how much space you have in your bed, and how much space your body takes up which allows you to toss, turn, and roll over while staying within the edges of the bed -- even in a new bed!

But children's proprioceptive senses are still immature. And that's not only because of their age. Remember, they are always growing and changing shape too! So mapping their body and refining their understanding of space is a constant, daily developmental need.

If you're interested, try this little trick as you continue to read. It will give you a taste of how little ones feel navigating the world with an under-developed sense of space...

1. Place your left thumb in the air above your head (so you can't see it).

2. Put your right arm out to the side.

3. Lift your right arm over your head and touch your index finger to your thumb.

Chances are, it took you several attempts to find your thumb, even though you felt quite sure you "knew" where it was! Now imagine navigating your entire day without a complete understanding of your own body or the space that's around you! That's what little ones are trying to work out all the time.

READY FOR BED?

So back to the original question. When are little ones ready for big kid beds?

Certainly, only you will know best for your individual child, but here are a few ideas that can help prepare your little one for whenever the big bed day comes...

BODY MAPPING

To help children build their own conscious and intuitive body map, encourage little ones to try to fit in, around, between, through, over and under things they come across. Chances are, they're doing this naturally all the time. Climbing under tables, through tunnels, into cupboards, cardboard boxes, and pretty much anything else that looks like a fun place to hide is a great way to help build their own body map!

TAKE A BIG BED SAFARI

You can't "sense" what you haven't experienced, so when the big bed finally arrives, take some time to go on a Big Bed Safari! IMPORTANT NOTE: Be sure to supervise this, and it's even better if you have two adults on either side of the bed for this one...

1. Start by having your child crawl around the bed, touching and exploring the edges. Do this both on top of and under the covers.

2. Play some more, having her wiggle and then roll around, again, both on top of and under the covers.

3. Have her crawl around the perimeter of the bed so she gets a feel for the size and scope how the bed changes the dimensions of her room. And don't forget to explore under the bed too!

4. After you've explored for a while, have her close her eyes and roll towards you, being sure to be there if she rolls too far.

CREATE SOFT LANDINGS

And of course, it's always a good idea to put some soft pillows on the floor around the bed until she gets used to it. Soon you'll see that her proprioceptive senses will adjust, her big girl bed will fit her to a tee, no matter how much she tosses and turns!

LIFE LESSONS FROM THE MERRY-GO-ROUND

2011-03-27T11:48:00.001-04:00

Around its perimeter is a sunken, circular path even the weeds have learned to avoid. What would it take to scuff away the earth like that? How many feet? How many seasons? How many generations?

And where were they all going?

In circles.

Just in circles.

The other day, I took a ride on the well-loved merry-go-round in our neighborhood park, pondering the usefulness of going in circles. And it occurred to me there are different ways to ride a merry-go-round...

For some, the merry-go-round promises flight. You hang on tight as you slowly begin to turn, anticipating what's to come. Your heart races as you gather life speed and suddenly the world is a blur. You stand... you sit... you lean out... defying the centrifugal pull to center. You close your eyes to meet the wind head-on.

You are dizzy with freedom... and you are merry.

For others, the merry-go-round is something else entirely. Going in circles is going nowhere. It's a matter of inefficiency and waste... lacking the necessary concept of "shortest distance." The swirl is out of focus, chaotic, nauseating, uncontrollable... something that needs to be stopped. But it never stops. It goes round, round, round.

It is a rut with weeds.

Yet, for all of us, the merry-go-round promises discovery. As the cycle repeats, never changing direction nor diameter, our senses align to the closed circle we're in. We sense space by moving through it. We sense time by a familiar flash point on the horizon. We are aware of nuances around us made possible only through the perseverance of the circle. Revolution by revolution, we test what we're made of and transform our world view... refining and learning as we go.

It's the same ride for all, but how we live it is our choice.

Children know this instinctively, living and learning in circles while the rest of the world endeavors to straighten the path for them. Parents call these milestones. Teachers call these outcomes. But a straight line, by its very physics, has a finish. Circles, like learning, have no end and real learning -- the stuff that sticks with you -- never takes the shortest route.

And, yes, the ride will make you dizzy.

Be MERRY.

Learn as you GO.

Live in the ROUND.

SMART STEPS: LET 'EM ROLL!

2011-03-13T11:33:00.002-04:00

WHAT ARE SMART STEPS?

As the old saying goes, you’ve got to walk before you can run. And for young children, that’s especially true. Indeed, childhood is all about building foundations, but sometimes the way kids go about it looks downright goofy to us.

To which I say, hooray!

You see, I believe that everything kids do (goofy and otherwise) has a developmental purpose that helps them learn and grow at their own pace. So to celebrate that, we’re introducing a new, monthly blog series called Smart Steps, a step-by-step guide to help you optimize the developmental benefits of all the goofy things kids already love doing!

LET ‘EM ROLL

If you’ve ever watched a preschooler roll around on the floor, you know it’s a surefire giggle-producer. But what you may not know is rolling is great for his body and his brain for lots of reasons, including:

Vestibular Development (to assist in balance)
Midline Development (to assist in coordinated movement and thinking)
Sensory Development (to assist in creating his understanding of the world)
Gross Motor Development (to build strength and coordination)
Proprioception (to develop a tactile understanding of space)

This is why rolling is one of my favorite movement activities for little ones. But after you roll around for a while, what do you do next? Try a few of these ideas the next time they’re on a roll…

SMART STEPS: LET ‘EM ROLL!

For kids able to walk, run, skip & hop, approximately ages 4+

Indoors or Outdoor Grassy Area

A FEW THOUGHTS BEFORE WE GET STARTED…

1. FUN FIRST! Remember, Smart Steps celebrates the goofy side of kids, so the first rule is IF IT’S FUN, DO IT. IF IT’S NOT, STOP!

3. AVOID FRUSTRATION. Try a few times and if your child is having difficulty, stop and go back a step. Frustration is never fun!

SMART STEPS – GET ROLLING

WHAT TO DO

Start by asking if they can show you how to roll around on the floor.

WHY DO IT

This little warm up gives children a chance to “practice,” reminding their muscles and their brains of the sensations of the movements they’ll need for the more advanced activities to follow.

WHAT TO LOOK FOR

When starting out, kids have a tendency to roll the top half of their body first then flip their legs over. Watch to see if they can keeping their bodies straight like a pencil with a moderate degree of control as they roll. And see if they can roll in both directions. This creates a balanced experience for both body and brain development.

SMART STEPS – ROLLING SIDE BY SIDE

WHAT TO DO

If you have more than one child playing, have them lie down next to each other shoulder to shoulder. Have them choose a direction to roll, then roll together in unison. NOTE: If you do not have another child with you, try lying down on the floor and playing the game with him.

WHY DO IT

Two things happen when children try coordinated rolling…

1. THE ROLL SLOWS DOWN. The slower the roll, the easier it is for the brain to absorb and retain the physical sensations of the movement, which in this case, helps build balance (vestibular system).

2. TEAMWORK DEVELOPS. Asking two or more rambunctious preschoolers to do this together creates an playful dynamic for foundational social skills such as cooperation, decision-making, supporting and encouraging others, and learning to work together. If you’re playing with your child, be sure to let him lead the activity so he is “in charge” of the play.

WHAT TO LOOK FOR

Watch to see if the children can sense what the others are doing taking turns going in different directions so that they all have a chance to “lead” the roll.

SMART STEPS – ROLLING HEAD TO HEAD

WHAT TO DO

For two children (or for you and your child to do together), lie on the floor opposite one another with your heads together. Have them reach up and hold onto a soft toy or small piece of fabric such as a sock. Then have them roll in the direction of their choice, and back again without letting go. NOTE: For solo play, put a string down on the floor and have your child try to keep his fingers on it as he rolls.

WHY DO IT

This adds additional challenge to tandem rolling…

1. THE ROLL SLOWS DOWN. As noted above, slower rolling builds balance.

2. ROLLING WITHOUT ARMS. Rolling by using only your shoulders, hips, and legs requires additional strength, coordination, and concentration.

3. TEAMWORK DEVELOPS. Again, this is a cooperative activity that helps children learn what it feels like to be part of a team working towards a mutual goal.

WHAT TO LOOK FOR

Encourage them to roll together so they don’t get tangled up or lose their grip. Because they can’t see each other, this activity requires even more concentrated effort to think about what the other person is doing and work in sync with one another.

SMART STEPS – WE’RE A CONVEYOR BELT!

WHAT TO DO

This is best with three or more children, but can be done by two players. (And it’s a blast if you have a roomful of kids!) Have all the kids lie down next to each other, shoulder to shoulder. Place a soft toy such as a teddy bear on the belly of the first child in the line. Tell the kids they have to get the teddy bear from the first child to the last child, by rolling – and importantly, they can NOT use their hands. Have the children roll in unison, creating a conveyor belt to move the toy from child to child!

WHY DO IT

As a group game this creates…

1. SHARED RESPONSIBILITY. Children, all working together, yet throughout the activity, they each have their turn being responsible for passing the teddy bear along.

2. TEAMWORK/COMMUNITY SPIRIT. Large group games make children feel a sense of belonging and commitment to the group.

3. ACHIEVEMENT. Working together, the children feel a sense of accomplishment – “We did it!

WHAT TO LOOK FOR

Coach them to keep their shoulders together. There should be no gaps between the players so have the children watch their neighbors as they roll. Empower the children at end of the line to be the team captains, helping the manage the group and change directions when necessary.

Have fun, and let me know how it rolls!

Adapted for home use from the Moving Smart Smart Steps Preschool Playground Programme. For more information on Moving Smart programmes for schools, preschools, and child centres, go to www.movingsmart.co.nz, or email getmoving@movingsmart.co.nz.

UNDERSTANDING CHILDREN & STRESS

2011-02-25T21:38:00.000-05:00

Stress has been on my mind these past few days since the earthquake hit here in Christchurch. And I can’t help thinking about what effects this disaster is (or will be) having on the children, including my two year old granddaughter Caitlin. Loving parents and attentive caregivers such as the teachers I met that day at Westburn School will go a long way to helping the children overcome the jolt of trauma they felt on Tuesday. But the lasting effects on young, developing minds is something we’re all going to have to watch for carefully.

Earthquakes aside, the topic here is stress, and it can come in many forms, leaving a lasting, negative imprint on children’s early development. Indeed, there is a body of research that shows just how important it is to provide a calm and loving environment in order to help insure children’s emotional and social well-being, and surprisingly, children’s CAPACITY TO LEARN. Here’s how it works...

THE SCIENCE OF STRESS
Scientists studying stress have shown that when a human being feels threatened – physically or emotionally – a chain reaction of chemicals is released in the brain and sent coursing through the body. In doing this, the brain is fulfilling it’s first, primary function – survival.

You see, stress hormones such as adrenalin and cortisol are the body’s physiological alarm bell signaling danger. And it doesn’t matter whether that danger is defined as an earthquake, a public speaking engagement, a bad report card, or a boo-boo. The body responds physiologically pretty much the same way every time.

So here’s what happens. When these hormones are triggered, the brain goes into a primitive state known as “fight or flight,” pouring nearly all of its energy back down into the brain stem – the area that controls automated functions such as breathing and heart rate. At the same time, the senses are heightened and blood rushes into the muscles (which feels like shivering) in readiness to “fight” or “flee” the danger.

Now, because of this rush of focus down into the brain stem, the brain has difficulty accessing the cortex – the higher region of the brain that governs thinking and executive function. If you’ve ever felt highly stressed or scared you may remember feeling an inability to think clearly. And in fact, that’s exactly what’s happened, because your brain, without your permission, went on “automatic survival pilot.”

STRESS INTERRUPTS LEARNING

Of course, I’m thumbnailing years of essential research here into a few paragraphs, but the long and the short of it is this: when we are under stress the thinking part of our brain is more or less de-activated. And when we can’t think, we can’t learn.

Further, when cortisol is present in the system for prolonged periods, science has shown it may have long-term damaging effects including depressed immune responses which can effect health, and memory impediments which can impact learning.

Consider it this way: a child under emotional or physical stress means a brain closed off to higher, cognitive functions, while a happy, relaxed child means a brain open to new ideas, immersive learning experiences, and creative problem solving.

So, the next question is, what is stress for little ones?

DEFINING STRESS

Children are small, vulnerable, dependent, needs-driven creatures. Without years of experience in understanding the world around them, they stress easily (hence, all the crying) over a variety of factors, including hunger, discomfort/pain, separation, and both instinctual and acquired fears. As a parent or caregiver, managing these stresses through all of their developmental stages is an essential part of helping your child grow and learn to their highest cognitive, emotional, social, and physical potential.

AT FIRST…

For newborns and infants, I believe there’s only one approach: meet your child’s every need. Making sure she is well fed, warm, dry, comfortable, and connected to you (especially when she is in need) is essential for controlling newborn stress levels. There are theories that babies should be left to cry in order to learn to self-calm. But the physics simply don’t work in my opinion. The more stress hormones that build up in their tiny bodies, the harder (and longer) it will take to calm down.

Further, even the youngest babies can read your stress levels, so managing your stress is equally important. If you are calm and confident, your child is more likely to be relaxed, because just as in all relationships, emotions fuel emotions, positively or negatively. And while I realize staying level and calm around your child is not always easy, it never pays to add fuel to her “stress fire.”

SELF-CALMING
As your child grows and is better able to communicate, she may now be entering a time when she can begin to explore the power to calm herself in times of stress – an essential step on the road to developing independence and self-confidence. Experts call this self-calming.

For instance, I’ve seen parents react when a little one trips and falls, encouraging them by saying, “You’re OK,” as the child gets back to her feet. And while I applaud the encouragement, the challenge I see is that the child isn’t given the opportunity to assess her own “Okness.”

Instead, I recommend parents try a slightly different approach. Rather than say, “You’re OK,” ask her, “Are you OK?” This does three things:

1. It respects your child’s ability to assess her own feelings

2. Shows her you have confidence in her and builds self-esteem

3. Reassures her you’re right there if she decides she needs you.

Stress is a fact of life, and helping your child learn to cope with her feelings is a balancing act you will play out time and again. And no, the two of you aren’t going to get it right every time. But instilling confidence in her while making sure she knows you’re always there when needed, is the best start you can give her down the road to independence, and the ability to manage stress in multiple situations, with or without you.

Helping children calm down from a stressful moment in the day takes love and attention. And sometimes you can even help the process along with a little humor.

Next time your little one’s Grin goes missing, try this game. As you recite the poem, search all over your child (and add a little tickle here and there) and before you know it, that grin will come running back! Note: please, feel free to make up your own words to match whatever fits your particular situation!

And after you’ve found your child's Grin, reverse roles and have her find yours!

Finding Grin

Oh, where did Grin go?

I do miss him/her so.

Did he/she flap like a crow?

Is that him/her on your toe?

Did he/she buzz like bee?

Is that him/her on your knee?

Did he/she hop like a bunny?

Is that him/her on your tummy?

Oh, wait!

Now I see.

Here he/she comes!

Right towards me!

Welcome back,

Great big Grin!

Right at home

Above your chin!

CHRISTCHURCH, NZ: FEBRUARY 22, 2011

2011-02-23T16:33:00.007-05:00

In the early morning hours of September 4, 2010, the biggest earthquake (7.0) to ever hit New Zealand struck just outside my home town of Christchurch, damaging homes, businesses and landmarks, but thankfully, claiming no lives. In the six months since, we’ve suffered thousands of aftershocks of varying degrees. At first, these were as frightening as the big quake itself, but after a while, the rumblings became a matter of daily routine.

Until Tuesday.

A 6.3 earthquake struck at the heart of Christchurch at mid-day Tuesday, February 22 while I was conducting a course for teachers at the Westburn School. The roar was deafening, yet it’s the cries of the children I can’t get out of my mind.

Amidst the chaos, the teachers and administrators leapt into action. Like epic figures of courage and comfort, they shepherded hundreds of little ones out of the building and onto the field to safety.

As we stood there, not really sure what to do next, another aftershock hit, almost as big as the last. As the children had been taught, we all dropped to our knees and became “turtles” as the earth literally rippled underneath us like a wave in the ocean rolling right across the field.

There were a few bumps and bruises amongst the children, but happily, no serious injuries. And for that, I want to take this moment to thank all of the wonderful staff of the Westburn School for their selfless dedication in this crisis… and to all educators everywhere for what you do for our children each day.

After seeing to it that there was nothing else I could do at the school, my thoughts turned to my own family.

Where is everyone?

Phones were useless, so I got in my car for the 10 minute ride to my parents’ home. Two hours later I arrived. The building was still standing but my parents weren’t there.

Standing at that door, not knowing where my mum and dad were, I felt an unbearable, unthinkable aloneness. I came there thinking my parents needed me. But maybe the truth was, I needed them.

I was terrified.

I was four years old again.

And the earth was still shaking.

A man and his wife saw me and stopped to talk. I don’t remember what we said, but I remember reassuring each other as we hugged and said goodbye.

Back in the car I instinctively headed to my daughter’s but so many streets were blocked by rubble or traffic I was stuck going no where.

Hours later, inching my way out of town, I got a text. Through all the mayhem, my son-in-law had made his way to my parents and was driving them back out of the city to my daughter’s home. Everyone was safe.

I broke down and cried in relief. Seeing me, a man got out of his car, came over and put his arm around me. I don’t know his name, but will be forever grateful for that moment of human compassion.

Still hours later and nearly out of gas, I arrived at my daughter’s. As I stepped inside, my two year old granddaughter Caitlin rushed up to me in excitement and told me all about the “shakey shakes.”

We laughed and I hugged her for longer than she needed. And with those little arms wrapped around me, the earth stopped shaking, and I was all grown up again.

In dedication to the people of Christchurch. For those lost and the ones they leave behind, I wish you peace. For the thousands of heroes who reached out to help others that day, I salute you. For all who continue to provide support and comfort for the disheartened and displaced of my community, I thank you. And for the children of Christchurch, may you always feel safe in the arms of those who love you most.

DEVELOPING BALANCE: THE SPIN CYCLE

2011-02-11T23:06:00.001-05:00

As you may know, I’m new to the world of blogging and social media. Yet I’ve already met some wonderful new friends – allies in the campaign to return childhood to the way nature meant it to be… on the move, non-stop, action-packed, hands-on, feet-first, heads-up, and elbow-deep! (If you want more adjectives, just let me know.) Thanks for sharing your insights and supporting our efforts here at Moving Smart. And we're going to try to answer your questions as soon as we can. Today, I'd like to thank Rebecca of rebeccabooksandbirthdays.com, who has asked me to talk about how to help children with BALANCE. This just happens to be one of my favorite topics, so here are a few quick thoughts on the subject…

A LITTLE BIT ABOUT BALANCE

When babies are born, they have no sense of balance – it must be learned. And there’s only one way to learn balance -- through movement. When the body moves, the brain records that information and forms its own understanding of what it feels like to be in and out of balance.

Now, most whole-body movements contribute to learning balance. But in particular, there are three types that work harder than most in this regard: spinning, rolling, and hanging upside down. Have you ever noticed how kids will do these things spontaneously? The reason is the brain is craving these kinds of movements in order to stimulate what’s called the Vestibular System and establish its sense of balance!

So, for this post, let’s focus on spinning activities….

FOR LITTLE ONES... Now for little ones, obviously, spinning has to be considered very carefully. There are some easy ways to give them a little sense of gentle rotation. But please note: keep it SLOW AND GENTLE, and watch for his reactions. If he’s not enjoying it, don’t take him out of his comfort zone. Slow down or stop the activity and revisit it another time or in a different way. Here are a few ideas to consider…

If you have a spinning chair in your home, hold him in your lap lying on his back or his tummy and spin slowly and gently around (approximately one revolution per eight seconds). Spin 1-2 times in one direction and then spin the other way, always guided by your child. And know this, doing this a few times but doing it often is better than doing a lot all at once.

If you’re out for a walk with the stroller or push chair, once in a while, do a 360° turn. Wheeee! How wonderfully carefree you’ll feel while surprising and delighting your child. And you might just give onlookers a smile as they watch the two of you having fun together!

Hold him in your arms and ever so slowly, gently, and lovingly dance the night away!

FOR OLDER KIDS: DIFFERENT SPINS FOR DIFFERENT REASONS

Once children are pretty steady on their feet (walking and running), you’ll probably see them begin to spin all on their own. At first they may be a bit wobbly and out of control, and they might even fall over, but it’s an important movement you should encourage by making the environment as safe as possible for them.

And, there are several different ways they can spin…

SLOW SPINNING. Spinning slowly is great for building balance. At a slow speed (again, approximately one revolution per eight seconds), the brain has time to register all of the sensations necessary to record and embed that balance information. In addition, any slow, controlled movement will go a long way to helping him develop his sense of body control.

FAST SPINNING. For most kids, fast is the only speed they know. When they go fast, they are getting a rush of adrenalin throughout the body that feels good and helps them develop their ability to cope with the outer boundaries of physical exhilaration. That’s why kids will often spin fast to the point of falling-down-dizzy. (Remember that? I bet you did it too.) Spinning on his own is a child’s natural way to “test” his sense of balance. Put another way, how would you ever know what it feels like to be IN balance if you’ve never been OUT of balance? (Just be sure he has a nice soft landing pad if he does spin a little too much.)

SPIN LEFT. SPIN RIGHT. If you watch your child, he will likely spin towards his dominant side naturally. So sometimes he’ll need a little encouragement to spin the other way. When you see him go into his “spin cycle,” suggest he try spinning in the other direction.

In a nutshell, spinning is naturally good for kids’ balance. Try to mix it up – fast, slow, to the left, to the right -- but most of all, if they want to, let ‘em spin!

THE-OFFICE-CHAIR-A-THON

Yes, it’s inevitably true. Kids love office chairs. They’ll go around and around and around, so we say take advantage of it and make a game of it!

FOR YOUNG CHILDREN: See the suggestions above.

FOR OLDER CHILDREN: Try the following suggestions, modifying the activities to match your child’s age and ability to follow instructions. And remember to always watch for his reactions and stop the activity if he’s not enjoying it.

SLOW-A-ROUND

Have your child sit on your lap or if he’s old enough, have him safely sit back and hold onto the arms or sides of the chair. Spin him slowly three times in one direction, then spin slowly three times in the other direction, reminding him not to let go. (Slow is defined as one revolution per eight seconds.) When he’s mastered this activity, go a little faster…

FAST-A-ROUND

If he’s enjoying himself, pick up the speed of the spin, again, three spins in each direction. Be careful to watch that he’s holding on and of course, stop if it’s not fun.

THE COOL DOWN: SPIN ‘N KISS

Kneel down on the floor in front of the chair. Give the chair a slow, gentle spin and each time your child spins back to you, give him a kiss!

EPILOGUE
With this post, we included a little survey which asked: When you were a kid, did you ever spin around and make yourself dizzy?

We had 24 responses. Unanimously (100%) responded: YES - I'D FALL DOWN DIZZY!

So what else did you do as a kid that today's kids aren't doing any more? Hmmmm...

NOTE: Please go and discover Rebecca’s site:

www.rebeccasbooksandbirthdays.com. where each week you'll find Rebecca's hand-selected list of timely and topical books you’re sure to enjoy sharing with your children.

WELCOME TO THE LAND OF CUZ-IT'S-THERE

2011-02-06T00:37:00.033-05:00

As you step across the border, it all looks so different -- everything is so much bigger and brighter, all shiny and new. You’re surrounded by things you’ve never seen before and it’s all so fascinating, you must… absolutely must… try it all.

Why? Cuz-It’s-There.

And so you do. With reckless abandon, you scoot from one thing to the next touching and tasting it all. Some things you like. Others not. But you are not dissuaded. What matters is you’ve got to try… try… try it all!

Why? Cuz-It’s-There.

And then, one day, it happens. You’ve tried everything within reach.

Now what?

And then you look up. EUREKA! There's a whole world above you full of new and shiny things just waiting to be tried!

Ah, but how to get there? You need some “vert.”

And so you get some.

By sheer force of will, your arms follow your eyes, reaching out to that higher promised land. Not wanting to be left behind, your legs find strength you didn’t know they had. Suddenly, you’re two feet taller than you were a moment ago and a whole new world is now yours for the taking!

Why? Cuz-It’s-There.

THE ROAD TO INDEPENDENT LEARNING

By nature, kids at any age are the world’s most intrepid explorers and original experimenters. They take nothing at face value, probing, challenging, trying, and testing everyone and everything they encounter. And that’s exactly the way nature meant them to be, because...

Trying is how kids learn, and even more, how they come to understand.

It’s that simple.

Now, we all know that The Road to Independent Learning through the random Land of Cuz-It’s-There has its smooth patches and rough spots. But in recent years, with the trend towards overprotectionism, well-intentioned as it may be, it appears we’ve all focused more on the bumps in the road than the eye-opening vistas the journey provides.

Which brings us to the age-old, inevitable parental crossroad: How do I let my child go forth and try while keeping him safe from harm?

And before you sit forward in your chair and think I’ve got the answer in a bottle you can buy, sit back. I don’t. Safety has to be your decision, day by day, situation by situation.

However, I would like to offer up the classic, classroom principle of Pause-Prompt-Praise as food for thought...

PAUSE • PROMPT • PRAISE

PAUSE. Knowing your child as you do, when you see a potential problem -- and it is NOT IMMEDIATELY HAZARDOUS -- pause for a moment before reacting. For instance, your child may get himself stuck on a piece playground equipment. Again, if it’s not an immediate hazard, give your child time to think and watch to see if he can work it out for himself.
PROMPT. Then, if you feel the need to step in, do so. Trying not to do it for him, gently prompt ways to solve the situation, offering a helping hand as needed. In other words, put yourself in the role of the helper, not leader. For instance, you might say “I wonder how we can help you get unstuck. What if I hold your arms while you lift your leg?”

PRAISE. As the situation resolves itself, praise the actions your child took to solve it. And be specific. “Well done” doesn’t tell him what to do the next time. Instead, try to recreate the situation verbally so he knows what he did well, along the lines of: "I love the way you lifted your knee up to get unstuck." Chances are, the next time he gets stuck, he’ll remember to lift his knee.

And lastly, if I may, I would suggest that we all take a deep breath and consider this. Each time an opportunity to independently explore and experiment is taken away a potential risk may have been averted. But at the same time, a potential reward may have been thwarted…

…the ability to arrive at his own conclusions.

MOMMY CUDDLES: Why Rocking is Important... for Both of You

2011-01-28T13:25:00.031-05:00

It’s late at night and you are alone with your newborn.

You rock him gently.

He folds his tiny body into yours.

Together, you are one.

As a teacher and life-long student of movement in early childhood development, I can tell you that the timeless tradition of rocking your child to sleep, is foundational for many aspects of his early development.

But as a mum of three daughters, and now a grandmum, above all, I know this to be true -- the Mum in you is born in that rocking chair deep in the middle of the night…

SOOTHING/COMFORTING

Soothing your child when he is stressed is essential for his overall well-being, and in this strange new world he’s been born into, rocking most closely resembles the familiar, comforting sensations of the womb.

But, chances are he’s not alone in looking for touchstones of familiarity. Now separated by birth, feeling the weight and warmth of his tiny body on yours is a closeness you both need and only the two of you can truly understand. I believe in those moments, the idea “I am Mum” is sealed.

FOUNDATIONS FOR SELF-CALMING

The comforting tempo of rocking to and fro will help him understand that when he is in your arms his needs are being met. With that assured, over time he can begin to develop the ability to calm himself.

And there, rocking gently in your arms, is one of the greatest gifts you will ever give to your child.

SAFETY & SECURITY

Trusting that he is safe in your care can be a powerful influence on his overall disposition and outlook on life. A child who feels safe and secure is more likely to feel that the world is a good place, approaching life with a healthy, positive sense of curiosity and optimism, shaped and guided by you.

But I’m guessing, in those first tentative weeks, all of that must seem far away and maybe even a bit daunting. Here’s what I found – time together not only created my children’s trust in me, but gave me confidence in myself to be their guide.

RHYTHM

The natural rhythm of rock-a-bye time contributes to your child’s overall sense of Body Rhythm – a critical foundation for his physical, cognitive, emotional, and social development. Body Rhythm actually begins in utero by the constancy of your steady heartbeat, and serves as a source of soothing comfort each time he hears it.

More, as you rock together you are creating a rhythm all your own – that “sense” of one another you can’t explain, but is clear for all to see... and for all time.

BALANCE

Babies are not born with a sense of balance. It must be developed. Gentle, slow rhythmic rocking is one of the best, early activities you can provide to help them build foundations for balance and “get their bearings.”

Yet between the two of you, it may well be that you’re the one more in need of “balance.” Motherhood is overwhelming (especially the first time out), and chances are you’re not feeling your usual sense of control. I wish I had the answers for you, but I don’t. Instead, I will leave you with these two thoughts...

1. You’ve had a child and your life has changed forever. Lucky you!

2. Advice is nice, but only you know what’s important for you and your family. The faster you decide, the faster you’ll regain your “balance.”

BONDING & ATTACHMENT

Quite often, quiet time like rock-a-bye is associated with the concept of bonding and attachment, the process newborns go through in the first weeks of life that creates their sense of belonging.

Parents go through the same process of course, only it’s usually far more automatic and dramatic. In that single moment of birth, adults transform from “me” to “we,” instantly and forever, redefined by our own child.

LOVE

That very redefinition, born of love, explains how in the wee hours of the morning, overcome with exhaustion, there can be no other place to be.

And over the years, you’ll both return to this place time and again to gently rock away all of life’s boo-boos and disappointments, heartaches, misadventures, and uncertainties. Because here, safely in your arms, the two of you together as one, are sure…

Mum can always make it better.